so i haven't updated anything and anything.
but i force myself to start with something because all we need is just a beginning for something to keep happening.
i have continued my upside down degree life for 3 weeks now,
and i was inspired when i saw this on one of my maahad friend's bio, her name is nadhrah. thanks nadhrah :)
it was written:
"when you guys partied, i gave up my sleep for my dreams"
and i was very inspired i tell ya.
entering degree, there are a lot to think about, and to dream about.
i want to make some of them come true and also shed off the unnecessary dreams (u know the berangan part)
because i need to focus. like that's all it take to succeed. but my focus is diverged apparently because if you really know me through my previous life, i was so playful, always think about shopping, skincare, shoes, bags. All the unnecessary stuffs and now i'm resetting my motherboard or whatever they called it in ICT class and trying to program it correctly so i can be on a constant pursuit of love, happiness and future. yep all written on my header. but future is the most important chase currently.
i just thought and imagined myself in few more years, where i'll stand and i'm freaking paranoid if i couldn't make it. yes, ppl make mistakes and sometimes they can recover bla bla. but if i can get it right, starting from now, insyaAllah at the end of the day, i believe that things will just be greater. i mean my pathway of life. great start, great effort will produce great result. but of course, i need to be consistent.
that's one thing.
for happiness, even though for now i don't seem happy yet. but i believe when all the efforts are paid, the feelings will be priceless. i wanna feel satisfied with myself and 4 years later when i graduated, i wanna look back and say hey, i do not regret every single step that i took when i was a freshie, listening to my mom's advice, changing my program, went through all the hustle bustle, sacrificing all the fun things in college because now, it feels so worth it.
and of course at that time, i, wanna hear people saying again,
"you must have made your parents proud"
and i do want to see them smiling proudly when the day comes and i also want to hear them saying that they bless everything that i've done in my life because as a daughter, i have satisfied them. :)
for love, that one. it's complicated yet difficult. so i am very aware and careful right now. one misleading step might lead to disasters to all my dreams. my dreams always come first. but i do wanna learn more about love in life now, like the love towards Allah, my lovely parents, family and friends.
so the conclusion is, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR DREAMS but no matter at which point that you're standing in life right now, you MUST have a dream, so CHASE it. put effort into it, sacrifice, and every time you feel like you're going to give up, remember the reasons why you want to have it so much and imagine when you finally ACHIEVE it. it will all be worth it, the pain, tears, sacrifices, all of them
remember, big dreams require big efforts, goodnight and assalamualaikum :))