Saturday, January 26, 2013

stigma.

"i dunno whether it's malays, or malaysians or everybody who grown up in malaysia or it's a universal problem"

preacher.

we all know. those who believe in their religions know that they have the responsibility to be made.
to preach people for good,
i said this on the behalf of good people who truly believe in what their religion taught them.
i believe that every religion teaches you kindness, not harm or degrading others religion.
because everything about a religion is to drive you for a better life.
my religion, islam, taught me to respect what others believe in.
and i believe others too.

them.

but the world is diverse.
we have people who has religion literally but they don't practise it as a whole.
and we also have people who don't believe in anything. the atheist.
but i respect both of them in choosing how they want to live their lives.
no doubt.

nitwit.

but for those judges out there.
who criticize other people,
who r trying to be good or trying to at least done their part as a daei,
yes. they don't appear or seem pious.
they're living a terrible lifestyle.
BUT. if they tell you about something, religious things or good things,
you shouldn't degrade them even if u think that they're not the one who suppose to tell you all that because they're worse than you.
i tell ya.
don't judge them.

Umar had said: "don't look for the person who's talking, look for what he/she talks about"

i think.

life is a lesson, take lessons as much as you need and leave bad things behind. criticizing people won't get you anywhere BUT learning will.

-feel humble and modest all the way, even if tried but u can't, i'll admire you for trying- :)


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

happy birthday prophet muhammad. i miss you


Ana rindu...

Ya Rasulullah, ana rindu

daurah nuqaba'

-naqibah-
"kalau bukan ana yang sanggup terima cabaran ni. sape lagi. ana x mahu usrah disia-siakan. ana mahu usrah mereka menjadi sebahagia usrah ana suatu ketika dulu."

ana seorang yang sentiasa bersemangat ketika usrah.
ana suka. ana suka bila kita ada masa untuk berfikir.
mengenali satu sama lain dengan lebih mendalam.
berbincang mengenai agama dan merapatkan ukhuwah antara satu sama lain.
usrah sangat cool.
ana sayang usrah dan ana paling tak suka bila usrah diganti dengan ceramah.
bukan ceramah x bagus tapi ana lebih suka masa usrah digunakan untuk usrah.

"ana berazam nak jadi naqibah yang menyeronokkan dan baik."
ana pergi daurah nuqaba' half-hearted. sebab wajib. kalau x ana x nak pergi.
sebab jujur selalunya program sekolah sangat membosankan.
tapi ana suuzzan (sangka buruk)
mashaAllah.
hebat!
ana x sangka bekalan ana belum cukup.
usrah bukanlah hanya tentang mendengar masalah adik2x.
tapi. lebih dari tu.
ana kena jalankan dakwah.
tapi yang macam mana?
yang berprinsip dan sesuai dengan psikologi adik2x.

bolehkah?

salah kalau ana rasa boleh tapi ana x mmpunyai persediaan yang cukup.
naqibah. macam mana adik2x nak ikut?
naqibah. macam mana adik2x nak dengar kata?
kalau ana sendiri masih terumbang-ambing dalam kehidupan.
ana kena berubah.
ana kena jadi lebih baik daripada adik2x usrah
kenapa?
sebab. analah yang akan menjadi tempat panduan dan rujukan mereka.
kalau persediaan ana x cukup alamatnya karamlah usrah ana.
ana juga kena berubah bukan sahaja menjadi baik secara lahiriah,
tetapi dari segi rohani.
ana tersentap bila ustaz cakap. "kalau adik usrah tanya macam mana nak solat khusyuk antum nak jawab apa?"

ana mungkin boleh jawab.
tapi kalau ana pun x khusyuk macam mana?
kalau ibadah ana pun x betul lagi,
macam mana ana nak bantu adik usrah secara total.
kesan ibadah yang baik pun x dapat dilihat dari perwatakan ana.
macam mana adik2x nak ikut dan percaya bahawa kata2x ana itu benar?

hmm macam tulah sedikit sebanyak ana tersedar.
ana ingin berubah.
menjadi muslim, hamba, anak, kakak, kawan dan murid yang baik.
doakan ana ~



debate.

lol lama dh x ckp psl debate..
terputus pertaliankah??
emmm
to accept the fact that it's totally a coincidence that i've joined debate..
eh?

07/08 ( year 5/6)

"i love being in the water but not swimming"
setting: hotel

they went to swimming pool.
i chose to stay alone in our room coz swimming is not my cup of tea.
i turned on the television.
high school students. they are arguing but in a pretty way.
i still remember that girl who amazed me. hazirah. the name written there.
10 minutes later. it's a national high school debate competition. a malay one.
"what a life to be a high school student "
i want to join bahas ala parlimen. just like them. starting from form 1 nanti.
i promised.

09/10/11 (form 1/2/3)
i searched for debate club. i haven't found any.
i met madihah but she's english debater and i'm only interested in malay debate.
i joined kelab pidato which seems like the only club in our school that is so much related to debate.
but we don't do much talking though.
hmmm i still have the interest to join malay debate. but how?

that evening. (after pmr)
we have debate competition.
i want to join but i hesitated. malay debate was already full.
english debate didn't has enough people to debate.
atiqah asked me to give a try. she-is-kind
i joined. then i hesitated. then i want to pull off. but it's already time.
they talked. i talked. i felt the passion when arguing but.

another evening.
i sat with atiqah. i said i really want to join debate but i don't know how.
she told me to meet madihah. and she believed that i can do it.
"she is very optimistic"
nahh i want to join malay debate.. but how. i don't know. i asked atiqah.
and it's the end of the year so they don't have other meetings so.
the passion that i have 4 years ago faded.

2012 (tgok nombor ni smua org igt psl kiamat lol)
she. is my sis. she saw a notice for those who were interested to join english debate.
i don't.
i don't want to go. but she wanted to. she asked me to accompany her.
i said no. but i saw the glitter in her eyes as this is the thing that she wanted so much in her life.
and she's a junior. i'm a senior.
and i'm her sister. i already refused to join netball team when she asked me and she said i shouldn't have any excuses for this. i should go. by hook or crook.
and i decided to go for the sake of a lil sis.
kak ulfah was there. she's friendly. i am 50-50 for debate.
my sis tried giving a speech. and i also tried and k.ulfah said that it's a good one #Smile
then i want to join them. but still keeping an eye for malay debate.

start
kak ulfah was really nice to me like i'm her lil sis.
and i enjoyed every training. it was fun. i won't leave debate.
.........

today.
ana suka dan rindu untuk berhujah dalam bahasa melayu.
teringin benar rasanya untuk berdebat dalam bahasa melayu.
tapi ana dah berjanji dengan kak ulfah.
jaga adik2x debat ini dan jangan lepaskan mereka.

kesimpulan
ana dapati debat bukanlah untuk pertandingan sahaja.
tapi debat membantu ana dalam kehidupan. untuk mempertimbang, memikir dan mencari kebenaran.
ana yakin debat tak terbatas.
melayu atau inggeris.
tiada beza. yang penting intipati yang ana dapat dari pengalaman ini.
ana berterima kasih pada insan bernama atiqah kerana percaya pada ana, syakirah kerana memaksa ana menyertai debat, dan kak ulfah kerana percaya pada potensi ana dan tak pernah jemu melatih ana.

"terima kasih insan-insan istimewa dan Allah kerana mengaturkan semuanya."

Thursday, January 17, 2013

tenang

starting a new year.. ana jujur katakan ana cukup gembira..
terasa semangat nak spm tu berkobar-kobar dengan sahabat di sisi..
ana nekad.. tahun ni ana nak belajar betul2x, kalau x faham terus tanya n bla bla bla..
dan ana nekad sebab..
ana sedar, niat ana sebelum ni salah..
belajar untuk periksa tu konfem2x tak..
tapi takde niat pun masalah jugak...
sejujurnya ana memang kurang semangat untuk menjadi seorang skema dan sebagainya..
tapi, ana suka bersaing... sangat2x!
kalau cikgu suruh lawan jawab quiz mesti semangat..
ana seronok nak kalahkan kawan2x ana (cehh mcm dah menang je)
tapi dalam kelas memang pnp lebih kepada pengajaran.. kurang teka teki dan soalan.. yelah macam sekolah rendah pulak nak lawan2x segala.. tapi ana suka!!!
so bila xde tu, tak semangat nak belajar dengan sesi pembelajaran satu hala.. :O

cuma bila malam periksa tgok orang smua pegang buku ke hulu ke hilir..
satu buku rujukan x cukup, ada yg sampai 3 buku skali bukak..
fuhhh dahsyat.. ana pun terpanggil untuk membuka buku2x (for finally)
tu yang result periksa ana selamatlah jugak...
itulah perangai ana.. ana suka buat benda ramai2x..
nak bersaing, nak berborak, nak bertanya.. pokoknya ana sukaa ada orang..
kalau x de orang, ana x buat..
ana ke mana2x pun nak berteman.. x lengkap sorang2x.. even nak basuh tangan pun mesti ada kawan.. kalau xde mmg ana rasa awkward.. hah smpai tahap mcm tu skali..
so back to the topic..
dah seronok2x duduk kelas dengan kawan2x,
seronok volunteer tanya soalan bagai..
kejut orang lain tidur dengan azam tahun ni jgn tidur, spm!
tiba2x..
"guys kena rombak balik la kelas"
emmhhhh memang ana marahla..
dah berkobar-kobar semangat nak belajar, dengan kawan2x lagi tetiba nak tukar2x..
n paling sedih baru seminggu sekolah.. aisehhhh
ana pun tunggu.. then ana kena tukar masuk ibs dengan sorang puteri ni..
majoriti kelas tu memang bukan kawan karib ana lah...
rasa macam mental breakdown je..
ana yakin Allah tahu yang terbaik tapi hati ni degil lagi..
sebab ana dah plaaaan tahun ni nak mcm ni mcm ni sekian sekian..
tetiba lain pulak jadinya..
aduhaiiiii
lepas masuk ibs, ana nak turun kelas,
and cikgu x bagi.. umi pulak kata kalau betul turun kelas tu yang terbaik utk ana, insyaAllah urusan ana dipermudahkan.. tapi sebab cikgu x bagi so maksudnya Allah is saving something better for me in ibs.. so ana redha..
belajar2x.. banyak yang ana sedar.. benda2x yang ana memang x mampu suarakan,
Alhamdulillah ana mampu jugak sekarang.. ana rasa bersyukur..
mungkin benda yang sukar tu menjadikan kita lebih kuat.. kan??
from one side, ana dah improve..
dan ana nak cuba lagi improve jadi lebih baik..
siapa tahu batas kemampuan kita kan??? kita kena try dulu baru tahu..
bak kata mathematics, try and error :P
insyaAllah, ana nak berusaha sehabis boleh dan apa2x yang berlaku, ana nak redhakan seikhlas hati..
sebab ana rasa ketenangan tu hanya boleh diperolehi dengan meredhakan keputusan ilahi :B

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Farewell is it :')

Saying goodbye is the last thing you would ever wish in ur life..
imagine,
we meet, we hate each other, we argue, we laugh, we cry together
and we don't want to move on.. if the choice is ours, we would choose to argue on stupid things like this, everyday..
we don't care if we get hurt coz we miss it sooo much
---
and i still remember
you and me, arguing and swearing like we would never ever be friends anymore..
but then we just did.. again
---
and as time passed, those bitters become sweets..
together, we laugh to ourselves coz we feel stupid hating each other LIKE if i know ur going to be my BFF like FOREVERRR i won't rip your book coz ur handwriting is soo damn prettier than mine :P
and those crazy-funny moments are the best 157680000 seconds that i've ever had in my life..
because that 157680000 seconds has been spent mostly with you, my friend..
---