Friday, April 26, 2013

people inspire people. -drafted for a few days-

i've never been that excited to wait for rainbow..
it's raining as i'm going back home..
and staring through the window pane, i thought for a while..
before this, ever since i was a lil kid,
i never felt excited to watch rainbow after the rain like other kids..
i don't value nature that much..
i don't even memorize the colors of the rainbow, it has seven colors if i'm not mistaken..
that's the close that i can get..
i don't feel the joy of watching that colorful thing which comes only once in a while after the rain and maybe thunderstorm..


so, lately, it hasn't been a fine life for me.. lol~
trying to cope with responsibilities, i'm almost knock down
feel like giving up most of the time
i'm not okay with everything simply because i dislike it
i mean, doing things that you dislike but you still need to do it because it's your responsibility is exhausting..
i know i shouldn't say this.
when you take a responsibility, you need to take everything as a whole
and hey, we already know that there will always be a PROBLEM. at least one.

so figuring out why i was doing all these things,
i feel depressed and i don't know.
sometimes i feel like maybe i live a life which is too fine and i'm not used to hardship so that's why..
and sometimes i hate myself from being that way..
i hate myself for being so lame and spoil, i'm very used to asking people's help instead of working things out by myself.
and i hate it. i try to change but the thought that you need to get some help always in my mind.. i don't like doing things alone.


really. haish. feeling exhausted and all, i just want to let go.
but my inner thought came and keep saying. try and try or at least finish what you have started.

and during these bad times,
i received beautiful thoughts from people..
the way they view world inspires me.
reading their thoughts makes me feel blessed that Allah sent them to inspire me

i just want to share their thoughts here, because maybe out there, you who are reading this, will be inspired too

i dunno why, but suddenly if felt very happy when i saw kak ulfah wrote: i really wanna see u enjoy doing things u do.. and i thought, even other people want to see me happy, why can't i be happy for myself and live a happy life? and my life gets better the next day lol xD

seeing this, it makes me realize that sometimes we just need to look up to those who are more unfortunate than us and start to be grateful with what we have.. when we are grateful, we won't ask for more and start enjoying even the little things that happening around us, life will be more meaningful

reading this, i feel better and a lot calmer.. whatever path that i'm going to take after this, i'm going to make sure that it's a path that i won't regret and fattah is right, it's okay to take some times to figure it out, i still got lots of times before spm ends :P 

the thing is, 
keep inspiring others in many ways because what you say or what you do may keep them walk in the right way..



last chapter:
as i watch the rain, i said to myself, look, this is not going to last long! the rainbow will come!!
and i also believe that whatever happen,
Allah knows best and everything happens for a reason
and i hold on to that, His promises :)

~grammar mistakes is mainstream in my writing - what to do lol~

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

the song.

Yeah, you can be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

You could beat the world
You could beat the war
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

You can throw your hands up
You can beat the clock (yeah)
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master
Don't wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you gon' find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile

You could be the hero
You could get the gold
Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke

Yeah, do it for your people
Do it for your pride
How you ever gonna know if you never even try?

Do it for your country
Do it for your name
'Cause there's gonna be a day...

When you're standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

Be a champion, be a champion, be a champion, be a champion
On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be truth seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
'Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world's gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

(You can be a champion)
You could be the greatest
(You can be a champion)
You can be the best
(You can be a champion)
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

(You can be a champion)
You could beat the world
(You can be a champion)
You could beat the war
(You can be a champion)
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

(You can be a champion)
You can throw your hands up
(You can be a champion)
You can beat the clock
(You can be a champion)
You can move a mountain
(You can be a champion)
You can break rocks

(You can be a champion)
You can be a master
(You can be a champion)
Don't wait for luck
(You can be a champion)
Dedicate yourself and you gonna find yourself
(You can be a champion)

Standing in the hall of fame

got inspired? i do :)

Sunday, April 14, 2013


it's the moment that you need to grow up in life and make ur own choice,
it's the moment you will fly with your own wings, get hurts and move on
it's the nature of life.
and the 17 years experiences is all what you have for your next journey to a new phase : becoming an adult

believe it or not.
at this point, we supposedly know what we want in life or what we want to pursue
or some are still searching for it

but this is the climax moment in your life because the decision that you will make will determine the whole path that you're taking in your life.

so what do i want to pursue?

considering the fact that it is for a life time,
i search for something that i would LOVE to do for the rest of my life
something that i won't regret even if i fail doing it
something that is called passion where i will find unlimited satisfaction in doing it

at this point, it's not just about what i thought i will love to do,
it's also about whether it suits me, my character and the special qualities that i have.
i need to search for something that i will be good at

and i'm still searching for that.
i'm still searching for good qualities/good things about me that will become the reason that i suit certain carrier.
( tell me if you found one. cuz i haven't found any >< )
there are things that i thought i would love to do like:
1st : Forensic scientist
- i think it's going to be fun solving crimes and ensuring justice is uphold in this world. i know it's going to be a tough path but i really really love it. just that i'm afraid some soul will ask for my help masa tgh bedah mayat or whatever and hey i may get a heart attack LOL xD

2nd: Getting involve in Food Industries 
- come on! who doesn't love food?? and i believe it will be fun spending my whole life with FOOD or specifically maybe i would focus on CHOCOLATE!! mannn LIFE SURELY IS FUN.

- mom doesn't has the same thought as mine.
- she doesn't feel that girls should be busy with works rejecting the 1st option.
- secondly, she said that working opportunities in food industries are very limited nowadays and the probability that you won't get any work is 98% and her arguments are valid which rejected the second option.
- she told me to take science social like her. and for a moment i believe i would love to do that. but hey, as life goes on, i began to realize that i don't understand people much and i don't even bother to understand them. i feel that it's a waste of time feeling miserable for others but you you don't have sympathy for yourself. frankly speaking, i would love to care about myself more than what others feel because people will never feel satisfied with us and trying to satisfy them is tiring. i would rather choose to satisfy myself now.
- i used to say that if i take psychology i would focus on kids because i love kids. and it's true that i love kids, i want to help them coping with life nowadays. but again and again i feel that it's more important to focus on your family rather than other peoples' kids. i mean. i already have lots of kids in my family and i feel that it's vital to help them first. having your minds on other people will lessen your interest on your family. and also many people have already involved in this field, and kids are protected nowadays because we have moved to another level and people began to have realization on those things that i would love to do if i'm in the psychology branch. nothing much that i want to change so i'll say that the status quo is fine now, i don't need to barge in that particular branch because i'm already satisfied with what were having now. the society now listen to kids voice, giving them opportunities to speak and parents realize the needs of the children to be fulfilled. kalau autism, they will provide them with good care, hantar pergi special class. it's okay now.
- i told mom i don't want to do this. and she told me to learn arabic and belajar agama. it's good but again i don't feel the passion in doing it for my whole lifetime. Okay maybe i cn take it fr minor course but i still want to have something else as my major course. and it's a serious matter to me. i want to do something i like and i will be good at and i don't see myself in this.

so i said to mom: Syakirah should be a psychologist (she wants to be one) because she suits it. but i don't think any of your options suit me. that's why i reject  it and let's just put this aside for the time being and let me go through spm first. i know sometimes mom knows best but for this big thing, i would say let time decides.

hahah. i'm honest with opinions. and i know some might have trouble with that.

oh btw.
"doing things that you like for the rest of your life matters the most"

thx for reading. your thoughts would be much appreciated.

Saturday, April 6, 2013


i dunno what i want
i mean i know what i want but i just can't help myself from feeling confused,
i listened and sorta believed what others believe eventho it was the opposite of my stand..
i mean.
ugh this is ugly.

i starting from now,
hate school even more..
i mean this is more real than before..
i hate it.
i hate having classes till evening everyday..
they took our freedom of playing/resting or doing whatever we want during evening.
i mean yeah it's school program like yada yada
but school supposed to end at 2:20 p.m.
why? because school is a place for you to study, express ur creativity, show your talent, and improve urself
but the thing is.
we don't go to school for 24/7 even if it's good.
why? because there's always limit in everything.
if u overdo it, u will spoil it.
even in islam, ur not being told to pray 24/7,
because ur not a robot.
Allah also told us to travel and discover the world,
see new things.. learn and love

but my thought brings the second argument.
redha cikgu and all..
argh seriously can't finish this post

Friday, April 5, 2013


did you realize how time flies so fast?
i just want to freeze the moment that i cherish and enjoy it more.
just a lil bit more.
mostly my form 4 moments,
the best year i had in maahad...

but the thing is.
Allah told us to chase the time
keep running and running
if you stop,
you will be left way f                a                                 r
and why does Allah ask us to do so?
because did you realize?
if the moment of you spilling milk and laugh with ur two teeth feels so good you just want to live in it forever,
you won't see the rainbow ahead.
simply because you never see the rain.
without rain, there won't be any rainbow.

and there won't be any special joyful moment after that-teary-bloody-sweaty-moments

simply saying,
yes. we have to go through all those moments.
don't give up, don't turn back.
live ur life now to the fullest because there's not going to be a second time.
nobody can replace today.
and also don't worry about sad things, create a new happiness today like you've done before..
everybody can go through it.

"Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan mengikut kadar kemampuannya"

dan yakinlah,

“Kerana sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan, sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.”(Surah al-Insyirah: 5-6)