people inspire people. -drafted for a few days-

prologue:
i've never been that excited to wait for rainbow..
it's raining as i'm going back home..
and staring through the window pane, i thought for a while..
before this, ever since i was a lil kid,
i never felt excited to watch rainbow after the rain like other kids..
i don't value nature that much..
i don't even memorize the colors of the rainbow, it has seven colors if i'm not mistaken..
that's the close that i can get..
i don't feel the joy of watching that colorful thing which comes only once in a while after the rain and maybe thunderstorm..

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so, lately, it hasn't been a fine life for me.. lol~
trying to cope with responsibilities, i'm almost knock down
feel like giving up most of the time
i'm not okay with everything simply because i dislike it
i mean, doing things that you dislike but you still need to do it because it's your responsibility is exhausting..
i know i shouldn't say this.
when you take a responsibility, you need to take everything as a whole
and hey, we already know that there will always be a PROBLEM. at least one.

so figuring out why i was doing all these things,
i feel depressed and i don't know.
sometimes i feel like maybe i live a life which is too fine and i'm not used to hardship so that's why..
and sometimes i hate myself from being that way..
i hate myself for being so lame and spoil, i'm very used to asking people's help instead of working things out by myself.
and i hate it. i try to change but the thought that you need to get some help always in my mind.. i don't like doing things alone.

I
DON't
know.

really. haish. feeling exhausted and all, i just want to let go.
but my inner thought came and keep saying. try and try or at least finish what you have started.

and during these bad times,
i received beautiful thoughts from people..
the way they view world inspires me.
reading their thoughts makes me feel blessed that Allah sent them to inspire me

i just want to share their thoughts here, because maybe out there, you who are reading this, will be inspired too

i dunno why, but suddenly if felt very happy when i saw kak ulfah wrote: i really wanna see u enjoy doing things u do.. and i thought, even other people want to see me happy, why can't i be happy for myself and live a happy life? and my life gets better the next day lol xD

seeing this, it makes me realize that sometimes we just need to look up to those who are more unfortunate than us and start to be grateful with what we have.. when we are grateful, we won't ask for more and start enjoying even the little things that happening around us, life will be more meaningful

reading this, i feel better and a lot calmer.. whatever path that i'm going to take after this, i'm going to make sure that it's a path that i won't regret and fattah is right, it's okay to take some times to figure it out, i still got lots of times before spm ends :P 

guys,

the thing is, 

keep inspiring others in many ways because what you say or what you do may keep them walk in the right way..

^_^

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last chapter:

and,

as i watch the rain, i said to myself, look, this is not going to last long! the rainbow will come!!

and i also believe that whatever happen,

Allah knows best and everything happens for a reason

and i hold on to that, His promises :)

~grammar mistakes is mainstream in my writing - what to do lol~