Saturday, March 30, 2013

Holiday

Simply saying,
School wll be back in less than 48 hours
And tika inilah kemalasan melanda di tahap optimum utk mnjenguk bku2 yg dh trperam selama 7 hri atau lebih =,=
Kwn2 pn dah start hello2 msing2 tny psl hmework
Yg tny psl soalan tu aq blhla jwb
Tp bila bab jwpn tu aq trsengih sndiri smbil brkata "heheh aq x siap lagila" dan memuji "bagus gler kau buat hmework" dn diperli "wey nk skolah da wei, ko x buat lg ke?"

Eheh.

Serius antara 1001 benda plg xbest dlm dunia ni, aq plg x suka homework
Motif?
Aq x ske buat keje sorg2
Yelah aq buat smua bnda nk jemaah, basuh tgn nk kena teman, tefon umi nk kena teman n etc lagilah.. Smua nk berjemaah
N bila hmework ni kau trsadai sorg2 kt rumah..
Kwn pn xde nk lumba sape siap dulu,
soya.

Aq taula mcm cri alasan
Tp klu keje yg cgu bg dlm kls confirm aq siap..
Tp ble balek rumah rasa pffttt skit..
Aq ske lumba ngn org
Buat lthn segala
Tp ble xde org x bes
Lg satu aq brpegang kepada the real principe of 'cuti sekolah'
Nmpk x frasa tu?
Klu aq bkk kamus mne2 pun cuti tu blh ditafsirkan sbg have a break,
Sekolah tu fhm2 sndirilah..
Jd mksudnya kena stop from doing anything related to school
Because thats the main reason why we have holiday,
To take a break!
Ni tidak. Pegi melancong pun kena bwk bku setebal 5 inchi sbb nk siapkan homework..
Haha nmpk dengan jelas aq x ske homework..

Tp aq amik intensif seminggu
Eventho as i say cuti kna break dri smua school related stuff,
Tp intensif ni mcm ur own choice lah..
So mse cuti, nk pegi memancing ka, nk pegi lahad datu ka, nk pegi shopping ka, it suppose to be ur own choice.
X blh ad restriction-keje sekolah,msyuarat pngawas etc
Do as you like cuz its holiday!

N talking abt wht i choose to do fr holiday,
I took differentation class,
4 hrs per day
Cuz mmg dketahui umum yg aq x leh buat differentation..
Sbb.
Thn lps byk skip klas - debate,trees,pusat sumber
Meh. Aq x blame mne2 yg brkenaan except ble cikgu pggil aq wktu blajar.. Itu adalah sedikit kegeraman..
Ahwell back to the topic,
Bila msuk tusyen pulak, tang tang nak masuk differentationlah pulak i have some issues so x dtg tusyen
So wht i can say is, i can't differentiate..
Akhirnya thn ni aq jmpe jodoh dgn differentiation.. Dpt dtg full intensive :D
Dgn cikgu ohsem n classmates yg sengal2.. Best la intensive ni..
The class is quite noisy *which i like* sbb 5 org je bdk perempuan yg lain lelaki
N u know wht guys do when they feel that it's their territory..
Buat mcm rumah sendiri + bila diorang kenakan kwn diorg tu yg x leh bla tu.. Smpi kengkadang nak gelak pn aq rse brsalah..
Plg lawak mse test siap cek jawapan brjemaah lagi sbb cgu takde #ApelahKorangNi
N aq seperti biasa brsikap competitive,
Selalunya aq ddk sblh diba tp dsbbkn ini test cgu tkar diba dgn sorg bdk lelaki ni..
Aq cek mrkah quiz, 3 org je dpt score tggi fr 3 days

1st quiz: 10/10
2nd quiz: 9/10
3rd quiz: 10/10
Yg 9/10 tu mmg ssh.. Lucky dpt 9/10 xde org dpt full..

So 3 org tu ialah aq sndiri muahaha, dn dua org bdk lelaki yg salah sorg tu kna ddk sblh aq mse test..
So aq mcm hais bdk pndai ni..
Aq dgn penuh rse trcabar nye buat test tu siap cek 4-5 kali sbb nk pstikan jwpn btul.. Yg bdk sblh aq tu dh tension duk dia tgh buat member2 blkg goyang kerusi tny jwpn tulah n jwpn ni..
Aq buat cool n selamba siap cpt..
skali bdk sblh aq tu ketuk2x meja
aq pun pusing
rpanye dia nk tanya soalan nk ap,
pstu dia tnjuk jawapan dia n ckp
"eh ni jwpn dia kan?"
aq pun tgok krtas aq pstu ckp, jawapan x sama..
tp aq x bgtau pun jwpn aq ap lol
yelah aq kan competitive :P
skali aq trpikir,
bdk ni kan bdk pandai,
ntah2x jwpn dia betul,
so aq recheck la 1000 kali soalan tu
rpenye aq salah sikit,
aq btulkan n jawapan aq pun betul #TepukTangan

Last2 mrkah test aq xdela gempak pun 30/40 je..
Highest 38 kut..
Haha melepas aq nk dpt twrn cikgu huhu..
Anyway aq rse bes gler intensive dn skrg aq dh pndai differentiate, tahniah kpd diri sendiri..
Ok pasni sekolah pulak
Asdfghjkl blik lmbt setiap hari n we hamidians are cool like that.
Ew.

Monday, March 25, 2013

La tahzan. Innallahha maana

renungan sebentar

masa daurah hari tu ana pun tergerak hati nak luahkan perasaan ana kat sahabat2x..
ana bagi tau yang ana rasa macam ana belajar tanpa sebab..
ana sendiri x tahu kenapa kena belajar selain spm
sebab semua benda yang belajar tu memang ada yang seronok,
tapi ana x nampak manfaatnya untuk ana sendiri..

contoh dalam kelas belajar teori,
ana rasa macam dah faham kenapa benda ni jadi macam ni kenapa macam tu..
tapi bila exam keluar pasal application ilmu2x yang dah belajar tu,
ana x boleh jawab..
dalam erti kata lain, ana x boleh pun nak imply apa yang ana dah belajar..
sampai satu tahap yang ana rasa useless gila belajar..
belajar2x tapi sebenarnya tak faham pun,,
sampai hilang mood nak menuntut ilmu..

ana rasa lost.. x tahu apa sebenarnya yang ana tengah buat..
rasanya semua sebab spm.. sebab kalau x, ana x kan belajar semua benda ni..
gila tak?

so back to the story, where our conversations start,


ana: aku n adik aku still mencari reasons kenapa kena belajar.. aku tau kita kena belajar, tapi kenapa penting sangat?
aya: ko tau x Allah suruh kita belajar? even ayat first Al-Qur'an pun Iqra'.. Bacalah, berkait dengan belajar gak..
ana: aku tau.. tapi aku x faham kenapa mesti sangat belajar semua benda ni.. contoh fizik, bukannya aku faham pun, aku tak minat pun.. tapi kenapa kena belajar???!!!!
aya: ko tau tak bio, fizik, kimia tu semua ilmu Allah! Allah yang buat semua tu.. sebab tu kena belajar, dengan cara tu kau tahu kehebatan Allah, kau dapat mendekatkan diri dengan Allah! Sains tu manifestasi ciptaan Allah!

masa tu ana terdiam sekejap...
ana fikir..
Jap jap ana x pernah pun terfikir tentang semua tu..
Ana tak pernah pun ambik berat yang semua ilmu tu ilmu Allah..
ana tak pernah pun terfikir nak belajar sebab nak dekatkan diri dengan Allah..
sebelum ni ana rasa benda2x tu takde kaitan pun dengan islam..
then ana sedar yang ana x pernah pun menghargai ilmu yang Allah bagi kat ana free free je selama ni..
semua yang Aya cakap betul..

lepas tu ana pun muhasabah diri balik.. nak dapat ilmu, nak bahagia dengan ilmu, nak guna ilmu, kenalah ikhlas dalam menuntut ilmu.. kalau tak ikhlas, hati jadi gelap, macam mana ilmu nak masuk?
lagi satu, dalam mencari ilmu tu sebenarnya kita tengah mengenali Allah...
kehebatan Allah buat semua tu.. macam mana Allah buat semua tu.. kenapa Allah buat semua tu..
semua ada makna..
kalau kita hayati dan sayang ilmu tu insyaAllah ilmu tu akan berguna buat kita..

alhamdulillah...ana bersyukur Allah kurniakan manusia2x yang hebat di sisi ana yang sentiasa mengingatkan ana kepada Allah.. may we die as muslims

Career Test

lolol..

most of them are true just, it happens only when i'm in a good mood around people that make me happy :) especially positive+cool friends like the moustache band and maryam from sais





Friday, March 22, 2013

No title.

I want to buy this lol
The problem is.
Im late fr tuition n the bakery shuts down on 7
Soyeah.

Interest

As day passes,
I start to lose my interest in learning..
I never want that to happen
But i can't deny that learning seems tiring more than fun
Too many homeworks and assignment
It drives me to a point that makes me think
Cn all of this be more than spm to me?
Ah well i better get the right mindset
N be a better muslim

Thursday, March 21, 2013

usrah

one of the thing that i won't miss every week is usrah..
to me, usrah is something which is very very FUN because out of all the things that we have at school,
usrah is the only one focusing on our spiritual development and ukhwah :)
yes. school is for study
yes. school is for co-curriculum activities
yes. school is for everything government told us to do/become..

but usrah is different..
it seemed to have nothing to do with the so-called 'school'

some might say that it's boring to do something that is not important,
something that don't produce any output (on paper) (exam result) etc etc
some might also say,
that without usrah,
they can do many stuff such as finishing homework or watching the latest video clip and such,
those fun things that they can choose to do at the moment,
but usrah is compulsory....

Think......

on the hectic day where people become stressed out,
everybody is feeling intense pressure,
everybody is too occupied it's even hard to see people smiling..
life is NO FUN
BUT. at one moment
we need to stop.
we need to stop thinking about homework, study and all.
and we attend usrah....
usrah that for once free us from thinking about the crazy homework and murderous study
and whether we realize it or not,
only at this moment,
we become alive,
we embark on rational thinking,
we open our eyes to really see what's happening around us,
we remember to care for our relationship with Allah,
and we are suddenly remindeed of every single moment in life that will be evaluated on the Doomsday
those little things which in reality are much bigger than spm or pmr or any exam
those little things that mean SO MUCH to our life if we really care..

Reality struck when... according to mum
"If I die, nothing of those worldly things will matter".

edited by mum

Monday, March 18, 2013

I want to be happy

I saw this 



and my friend wrote:
yyeaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! semangat...buat apa utk sedih en....::))))))))))))))))
And i thought for a while..
Haah buat apa nak sedih sedangkan kita boleh gembira.. Kan?
this short period life rugi kalau sedih2..
Rugi kalau pandang yg negatif je..
Byk kut benda positif sbnrnya,
Ana je yg x perasan.. I've been blinded for such a loooooong time

Ahwell
Now, if i am ever going to feel sad,
I will ask myself to give 10 solid reasons why i deserve to be sad then only i can be sad :)


Monday, March 11, 2013

hey.

"instead of becoming enemies, why don't we become friends?"

why do you think that i'm your enemy? even if it's meant for the future
i don't know where did i do wrong
i don't know why we keep walking on separate lines now..
i don't know when it all started
only when i wake up from a long sleep, i realize that we're doing a separate way
why should this happen after the cloud 9 moments?
we've already moved over this but now its all coming back to us.

i wish i can be the same again
i wish i can be there for you
i wish i can listen to your stories
i wish i can say words that motivates you

but i can't now.

with you isolating me from your world
with you thinking everything can be solved own your own
with you not sharing a bit with me
because you afraid that i may be an enemy.

i can't pretend that i'm okay and do my part.
i tell you i can't pretend even if i'm a good actress
because the way you trust me is a dishonor


passion.

i feel strangled.
i can't speak.
why does it happen now?
i will compete for the last time in the name of maahad hamidiah in 4 days yet i lost almost everything i used to have..
i lost my passion in talking.
everything went wrong when i talked in english.
but i can't use malay either cuz it's been so long i've been taught to think in english,
when i tried to search for malay words, i was lost.

imagine.
i have a tongue yet i can't speak.
i have a voice yet i can't use it.
i have a functional brain yet i still can't speak well in either of those languages.

i seem like a meaningless person

Saturday, March 9, 2013

cuts me like a knife

every rose has its thorn - miley 


We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Yeah, I tried
But I guess that's why they say

[Chorus:]
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could let you know somehow

[Chorus]

Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but that scar, that scar remains

[Solo]

I know I could've saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

and now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
And to hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife

[Chorus]


nothing personal, j

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

the world doesn't seem normal to me now wow

Growing up in islamic schools,
I mingle with friends, teachers and people who do care about how islam works as the way of life,
Putting Hadiths and the Holy Qur'an first before man-made-logics..
They search for the reasons behind why Islam says so..

But the thing is,
I'm so used to this situation, I've never expected that out there,
Many confusions and false thoughts linger in people's minds,
Since they don't know about hadith and Qur'an,
They don't even study.
So they use their so called logic
The logic which is under their paradigm,
Is the most common phrase,
'Islam is easy'
"If it is hard, then it is not Islam."
'Islam progresses through decades'
"Back then, people had Rasulullah, that's why they have to follow everything he said and do. Following what he did now is not realistic because he is no longer alive." 

Ahwell..
You should know that Islam teaches the basics of everything,
And basics can be applied in all circumstances and time..
Exhibit 1:
Back then they used Archimedes' to determine pure gold,
Now, we STILL use Archimedes' but to do other things such as hot air balloons and et cetera

Same goes to islam,
The basic : Cover your aurah.
Back then and even now, we still need to cover our aurah but we can actually be fashionable now (since being 'fashionable' is a recent term) as long as you don't expose your aurah..

So i just wanted to share about what happened yesterday,
My tuition teacher encouraged us to find a boyfriend/girlfriend and get to know them after school,
He encouraged us to couple, to put it in easy words
And i blurted out, eh couple haramlah!

And BAM!
I never expected the conversation to turn into a 30-minutes debate, it was during my physics class, mind you.
And, in front of people who claimed that their ustazah said, "you can couple", who said that "There are no Hadiths saying that Khalwat is haram,  Islam ada sekeras-keras hukum dan selembut-lembut hukum.."

It was too much, my head spun.
But i tried my best to answer every question although i know my answer may not satisfy everyone.

There were some hot issues that came out yesterday:
1) Kena couple sebab nak tahu pasangan kita tu macam mana

- Kalau couple pun, macamlah kita kenal dia.. bila couple of course dia akan tunjukkan dia perfect gila.. Siyes kalau perempuan yang malas, tetibe jadi rajin bila couple.. Yang suka marah-marah terus cair bila jumpa boyfriend.. Dah kenal ape macam tu? yYang kita kenal cuma luaran yang diorang pura-pura nak tunjuk kat kita.. And once you got married, 2 tahun, barulah nampak taringnya.. yelah duduk sebumbung, dah kawen, no more sugar-coated words 24/7.. Buatnya suami memang suka duduk depan tv, masa couple boleh la, eh dia memang suka macam tu.. Dah kawen, nak suruh beli barang, nak mintak tolong pun x boleh sebab 'habit' dia tu.. of course marah kan? I mean lepas kawen, they hope you will change because you have responsibilities and all, but you don't!

So seriously aku cakap, tak ada gunanya..
Lepas kawen gak kau tau perangai sebenar dia..

-Kalau cara islam, macam mana?
Dalam islam, memang kita kena jaga batas antara lelaki and perempuan.. Kalau nak kenal dia, Islam sarankan, bukannya pergi jumpa dia 24 jam.. Bukan hantar mesej cinta tanya awak makan apa, awak suka apa, TAK. Pergi risik dia melalui kawan-kawan dia, jiran-jiran and family dia.. Pendek kata orang yang dekat dengan dia.. Sebab, diorang yang membesar sebumbung dengan dia, diorang lagi tau perangai dia.. Itu kalau kes yang kau nak kahwin dengan orang yang tak berapa kenal..

Tapi kalau kes yang kau dari darjah satu sampai tingkatan 5 satu kelas, and kau memang dah berkenan, boleh je masuk meminang terus.. Yelah dah suka, mesti ada sebab kan? Mesti kau dah tau dia ni macam ni macam tu sebab dah arif sangat dengan perangai dia.. Jadi kalau dah suka, sila buktikan anda gentleman dengan pergi jumpa mak ayah minta restu, bawa rombongan pergi meminang.. Let's say if nak kenal lebih lagi sebelum buat keputusan nak kahwin ke tak, boleh taaruf(berkenalan) masa merisik.. Ha, nak tanya apa, tanyalah.. Kau qiam(bangun malam) setiap hari ke tak? Pandai masak ke tak? Suka tidur lepas subuh ke tak? Memang masa tu terbuka ruang penuh untuk soalan.. And kalau ada benda yang kita x berkenan, boleh terus cakap, kalau boleh saya nak kahwin dengan orang yang qiam, awak boleh cuba tak dari sekarang? Kalau awak boleh, saya setuju nak pinang awak. or, maaflah tapi saya rasa mungkin awak tak sesuai untuk saya sebab saya prefer orang macam ni macam ni... hah tak kesah..

Kan simple tu?
Tak payah susah-susah nak ambik masa bertahun-tahun dating, chat sebab nak kenal.. Yang kau kenal bukannya dia pun, cuma perangai dia tunjuk kat kau je..

Bila ikut islam, kau terus boleh risik perangai dia, tanya mak dia, dia ni manja ke tak, keras kepala ke tak, tanya kawan dia, cakap ni bukan isu remeh sebab kau akan sehidup semati dengan dia kalau jodoh panjang, jadi kau nak tahu betul-betul pasal dia..

Dah tau semua, kawen.. simple man..

2) Kalau tak couple, takut nanti tak kawen

- Tiga benda Allah dah tentukan untuk kita dekat luh mahfuz:

i) kelahiran - waktu,tempat,cara dan semua yang berkaitan
ii) jodoh - siapa, bila dan semua yang berkaitan
iii) kematian - waktu,tempat,cara dan semua yang berkaitan

Tiga benda ni memang kau x boleh tukar, sebab dia dah tetap..

Couple lah 99999999999 kali pun, kalau Allah tulis memang jodoh kau kat syurga, memang takkan jumpalah kat dunia.. sebab tu putus, cari lagi.. putus, cari lagi.. putus, cari lagi..

"Habis? nak tunggu melongo je ke? Kita nak kawen kenalah usaha!"
Memang betul sangat, kena usaha.. Macam mana nak usaha? Persiapkan diri.. Yang lelaki.. nak jadi imam kan? Imam, mestilah kena mendalami dan mengamalkan ilmu agama, so, practise dari sekarang.. and perempuan, nak jadi isteri, jaga kelengkapan suami kan? Belajar gosok baju, belajar cara nak didik anak dengan betul.. Ha.. sebelum kawen lah kena bersiap sedia.. takkan bila dapat anak baru nak kecoh cari buku psikologi..

Pastu pasangan nak jumpa macam mana?

Be observant. Kalau tengok-tenogk, rasa macam berkenan, hah ape lagi, plan dengan mak ayah, jumpa parents dia.. Tunjuk planning hidup, tunjuk bekalan yang dah dipersiapkan, contoh, ilmu agama, pekerjaan, status kewangan dan sebagainya.. rancang terus..

Atau, yang ragu-ragu.. dia ni dah berpunya ke belum? Guna pihak ketiga.. Jumpa orang yang dipercayai, ustaz atau ustazah tanya, minta tolong tanyakan dia ni dah ada orang ke belum? Kalau ada orang yang ada kemampuan macam ni macam tu, dia nak kahwin tak? Kalau dia kata tak bersedia then tak pelah.. Dah selamat maruah kat situ.. Dia tak tau siapa kita tapi kita dah tahu jawapan dia.. Kita tahu dia ni dah ada orang cop ke belum? Kan simple, takdelah bawak rombongan satu kampung sekali yang nak dipinang dah berpunya..

Kalau nak tanya ayah mak pun tak pe.. Anak pakcik dah ada orang ke belum.. Ha.. simple camtulah.. investigate dulu sebelum nak pinang.. Sebab haram pinang tunang orang.. or.. Manalah tahu dia memang tak bersedia lagi, at least kita dah tahu awal-awal..

3) Couple boleh kalau dah memang niat nak kawen

i- Boleh guarantee kau kawen ngan dia?
ii- Kalau nak kawen, kawen jelah terus.. tak payah nak couple, jumpa mak ayah, sampaikan hasrat.. kata nak kawen.. kalau tak mampu, tunang dulu
iii- Perlu ke couple kalau dah nak kawen? kata nak kawen ngan dia, maksudnya memang dah kenal dia,dah suka perangai dia, so nak buat apa couple lagi?

last but not least - soalan cepumas

my teacher: awak pernah kena risik tak?
me: saya baru 17 cikgu
my teacher: awak pernah suka orang tak?
me: pernahlah
my teacher: kenapa pernah?
me: sebab -------
my teacher: okay, sebab apa awak suka dia?
me: sebab2x tertentulah.. contoh cikgu suka orang yang suara sedap, macam tulah..
my teacher: tapi kenapa?
me: sebab ----------------------------------
my teacher: okay masa awak suka dia tu awak ada fikir tak nak jadikan dia imam awak ke?
me: takdelah cikgu, saya belum fikir pasal kawen lagi.. saya cuma mengagumi dia je

camtulah.. aku rasa memang terkadang kita tersuka orang tu.. normal.. remaja.. lek ah tak makna kita mesti nak kawen dengan dia kalau kita suka.. kan2x? plus, aku hanyalah meng-admire kelebihan2x dia.. aku belum sampai tahap aku rasa aku mampu terima kelemahan dia, sehidup semati ngan dia.. sebab. aku tahu aku masih remaja yang belum cukup matang untuk memilih calon suami.. hohoho

aku harap perkongsian ini bermanfaat untuk semua.. sekian ^_^






Tuesday, March 5, 2013

debate during class

just now i debated with my tuition tc whether couple is haram or not.. meh i feel bad when i answer the question abt why i like my crush.. supposedly it's not necessary though.. i also feel bad because i don't think i had explained everything well.. and i also lose point for not using logic which my sister brought up when i chatted with her.. i am a weak speaker.. i am afraid tht bcoz of me, ppl won't like islam.. i need to learn more.. n tht crush thing is really killing me.. i shouldn't say that.. i just.. when he asked questions, i only thought to answer all of them to make him understand.. well. not all questions need answers.. i need to learn more.. Allah guide me. guide the muslims n ppl who listened to my speech.. make us a better muslim ya Allah

Sunday, March 3, 2013

a thing to ponder

walaupun sepatutnya masa terluang digunakan untuk menelaah buku yang setebal burger king,
namun ana masih x dpt mencari kekuatan untuk menyepit mata dan telinga untuk memfokus secara gila terhadap subjek biologi..

jadi pada malam kegilaan apabila form 5 bertungkus lumus menelaah sehingga terlukis peta asli di kulit buku,
ana memilih untuk menulis.
dan hari demi hari ana makin gila menulis..
semua adalah kerana usaha ana untuk menjauhi twitter yang merupakan freedom of expression ana suatu zaman dahulu..
eceh.

tapi not so bad tak bukak twitter.
ana rasa ana lebih terbuka untuk menerima hidup ini seadanya
or shall i say, the reality?

yelah twitter, conversation blh edit2x, letak smiley bagai padahal depan laptop muka siyes tahap dewa je..
yang depan laptop pulak tersenyum beruk sebab dapat smiley yang hanyalah titik dan kurungan..
:)

sewel kan?
heheh..

so dalam banyak post2x merepek dan meluahkan perasaan ana yang tak puas hati dengan hidup,
ana terfikir..
aku sorang je ke yang hidup kat dunia ni?
aku sorang je ke yang ada masalah?
orang lain nampak bahagia je...
macam takde masalah langsung..
dunia ni macam syurga untuk diorang..

pastu ana teringat satu ayat ni..
"everybody has their own problem, the difference is, they handle it way more better than you"

so sebenarnya ada je orang yang hidup dia berzillion kali lagi miserable dari hidup ana..
and in fact, hidup ana tak layak pun digelar miserable,
ana ada mak ayah yang sayang giler2x dengan ana sedari kecik sampai besar panjang,
ana ada adik2x yang pandai, baik, kreatif dan lawa2x semua..
ana ada famili yang bahagia yang tak semua orang ada..
ana ada famili yang mementingkan agama yang tak semua orang ada..

ana ada kawan2x,
ana ada sekolah,
dan paling penting sekali,

ana ada Allah..

banyak mana pun ujian yang menimpa,
ana seharusnya ingat,
Allah tidak akan menguji hambaNya melainkan sesuai dengan kemampuannya..

maksudnya lagi berat ujian tu,
lagi besar kemampuan ana untuk menghadapinya..

jadi kalau ada masalah,
ana patut berlapang dada dengan Allah dan letak tangan di dada,
kata kat hati, ana hebat, sebab tu Allah uji..

kalau ana lembik, tak perlu Allah uji semua ni..

betul tak?

lagipun.. Allah tak pernah timpakan hidup kita ni dengan kesusahan..
kalau kita pusing dan lihat 360 darjah,
MashaAllah..
banyak benda yang Allah kasi tapi kita tak sedar..
dan percayalah cakap ana,
benda baik yang Allah kurniakan tu jauh lebih banyak dari ujian yang Allah beri..
sebab Allah tu Maha Pemurah, Maha Pengasih dan Maha Penyayang..

so.
kalau ada masalah,
fikir.
Allah tahu antum boleh tempuhi ujian ni,
which means
you are a great person,
so, letak tangan kat dada n cakap kat hati,
i can do this
dan senyum :)

thing

there's a thing that he won't understand..
there's a thing that she may not understand..
there's a thing that the universe can't understand
there's a thing that only few would understand..

Saturday, March 2, 2013

tide

i miss talking to mum..
i miss putting my head on mum's shoulder and said that i'm tired with life..
i miss sharing stories with mum every night..
i miss mum's words that always inspire me..
i miss mum who is always besides me..
i miss mum who loves me the way i am..
i miss mum saying that trying is good and failure is a key to success..
i miss mum saying that Allah has a better plan for me..
i miss mum who keeps motivates me every single time..
i miss everything about mum..
and she's not here for the moment..

dear mum...
i'm sorry
but i'm tired again with life..
can i quit now?
i want to have a rest..

remedy

i'll stop doing whatever you hate if that's what you want..
i'll stop being childish and stand on my own if that's what you want..

people are telling me to be myself..
people are telling me to turn a deaf ear to what people say..

but i tell you i can't..
i can't never turn a deaf ear..
i don't want to be cold-hearted..
i want to listen to what people say..
i want to do something about it..

and if that's the thing..
i will change..
they say they like me this way..
i am truly happy..

but,
the moment you kept complaining about my behaviour..
had changed me..
changed my thought that i should always be myself..

people say changing is hard.
but i can try..
if that's what you want.
if the version of myself all grown up is what you like to see..
then i'll show you how it looks like..

all to satisfy you.. so that your life won't be miserable the way it is. now.

let's stop

"if you think that your life is too miserable by serving people what they want, then don't do it, no one pay you to listen and act"

i'm tired too..
maybe i troubled people around me with my problems only for my own good..
and hey..
i feel tired too..
with this hustle and bustle that will never stop until it reaches one point..
and during those journey to reach that point..
i know and i am sure many will get hurt..
many will get involve..

and just to be frank,
i'm sorry if anybody got hurt because of me..
okay i'm selfish for dragging you or anybody else into this..
let's keep this settle..
let's stop this..
i just want to be a spectator and stay on the bench..
i don't want to go in front, attract attention and enemies..
i want to be ordinary..
so nobody will fear me..
nobody will think that i am threatening their position or so what not..
nobody will be jealous..
and nobody will make noise with my decision..
because i don't decide anything for their life..

let's settle this and stop everything..
cuz i'm a human and i know how it feels to be burdened..
and if i am the one who burdening you,
then i'm sorry i'll pull off
happy?

you should tell me in the first place if you cannot bear any of this. i'll be happy to exclude you although i thought you are my wings



Friday, March 1, 2013

the U and road run

oyeahhh finally i've made it!! finally finally and finally i finished my road run in my senior year!! well it had been 2 years (f4 & f3) i didn't join the event so i was quite nervous considering the fact that two years is a long period and also my weak stamina xD..at first, i was really enthusiastic running until..

until..

until..

my chest hurts..  wait. that should be put in a better phrase.. maybe weak.. umm wait. maybe fat.. heheh

altho i can constantly run(or jog.. i dunno it's speed 5 on treadmill) for 2 km.. but running up and down.. cutting the line was pfffttttttttttt...

i started quite well but that chest pain.. it made my right hand numb.. that moment.. i only think to walk coz chest pain might be the cause of insufficient of oxygen or the blood path is too hectic my cells were pushing each other and that's why it hurts.. so i walked and moved my hand up and down to allow better blood movement.. heheh

then at one turn.. i saw my teacher and she was cheering up for me and also challenged me to run.. so i ran.. then i saw madihah n syimae cheered so i kept running.. until one point it hurts and i was tired.. so i walked back.. then pap! i saw a boy ran cutting the girls line.. for god sake! they ran after the girls ran and they went to longer path and and i saw him and i was like asdfghjkllllll.. okay that's still okay.. then two guys cut the line.. one of them is our captain so i was like Hohoho!! that's our captain!! still i can't run.. then along the way i saw my classmates (boys) cutting my line and i was likeeee #%&@&#@*#@&%#*'##& !! heheh then i met fizah and i was relieved.. we only aimed to finish the run cuz it's too exhausting.. then we chatted and it was fun lohhll.. n suddenly, a boy from rumah biru cut my line and clapped his hands twice and showed hand gestures asking me to keep running.. fizah was like kenapa tu? and i said dia nak suruh lari la tu.. and yeah for the effort and support, i ran.. and i saw he kept doing the same thing when he passed by any girl from rumah biru.. so i gained the spirit back and start pulling the rumah biru girls to run with me.. then dah penat so i walked and i just thought of the drinks prepared at the school.. so mse turun jejantas i ran pstu x larat dh. but i still got a point for the run cuz i reached the finishing line before the time limit.. jyeah!!! i finished my road run in my senior year and nothing feels so good this moment than this.. yeahhhhh ooooooo aaaaaaa yaaaaaaaa maaaaa huuuuu hohohohoooo *muka bangga ibarat hero antarabangsa O:')