Thursday, December 19, 2013


it's been a dream and a plan..
that after spm is over,
before this year ends,
i got to wrapped up this year beautifully..
being as honest as i would..
as i believe that i will stay even if i'm gone..
i will wrap it up..
i hope i will get the chances..
and end this beautifully

Monday, December 16, 2013

about life

i guess life after spm isn't that fun..
there are too many things that you need to figure out since u've grown up..
and i dunno why,
it feels so heavy
it feels like a burden
day by day
become more confused and lost

how could,
this world turns to become so vicious?
how could,
i suddenly realized that i dunno myself?
how could,
i lost to others?
how could,
at the end of the day i realized that i am useless?

i've went to utp's educamp recently.
and no doubt, it was really fun.
meeting all those excellent people,
i felt very insecure and timid..
like how come,
for this 17 years that we live,
they've gained more than me?
they've grown up but i haven't?

it sucks..
tbh, im quite playful in every situation,
i don't adore seriousness
in every circumstances..
cuz seriousness sucks,
it makes people become stress,
it makes people dismiss others around them,
it makes the environment felt cold,
it makes me unhappy..

and i hate it..
but going through all this,
i realize that maybe being serious is important..
for me if i want to strive forward,
if i want to win,
if i want to be successful in life..
n i,
by any means need to grow up..


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Sunday, December 8, 2013


so another blog post at night..
man i love posting at night,
when my mind is screwed up and all weary and this lil voice inside me saying,
hey i need a sleep..
but a wiser organ inside me saying,
man, this is not tiring enuf n u won't sleep if u lie down so,
force urself a lil bit more until u feel u can't take it anymore..
and i do understand that all my organs need a rest right now except mR.brainy who controls everything..
and when this guy doesn't want some rest,
i can't rest..

so when it's night,
i have to somehow,
force my brain to think spontaneously..
like i don't even care what it's thinking,
as long as it gets tired then i can go to sleep.

the thing is that,
i think i've been loving this whole kinda detective act..
like solving mystery cases..
well not so mystery but at least i cn solve it,
was really fun..
but nowadays,
i don't know..
i just prefer something more relax other than just solving n figure out problems..
i rather choose to be playful, doing things straight away rather than focusing on an issue or whateva..

and bcuz of tht,
my enthusiasm to dig out prob is not that much anymore..
eh wrong.
to solve a problem..

man i'm tired..

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Day 2 - bunny2

at first i was planning to tidy up my current room and my old room..
i need to move back to my old room since spm is over but.
i dunno maybe i'm too anxious about the rabbit that i just keep watching them..
i dunno whether it's a good thing or not..

i brought them outside at the open space this morning,
n saga seemed very happy n excited,
she kept going back n forth,
sniff and sniff..
so cute..

and lil rico also get excited..
it's just that he's more aggressive and hard to handle..
but he's nice tho..

today, i already brought them outside twice n i screwed up with rico every time..
and i feel sooo asdfghjklqwertyuiopzxcvbnm
and i decided not to visit them rarely after this cuz maybe i annoyed them..
maybe they need some space and i was too worried and it's just suffocating for them to have me messing their lives..
i think so..
i just worried too much and gelabah pstu messed up...
i feel so done with life lollll

tp xpelah i love them..
it would be fun if they would love me too one day..
hmm i guess i need to chill a lil bit..

that's all for today..

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

After SPM - day 1

so. officially. spm. is. over.
and i just couldn't describe what i'm feelin
i'm like god! byk gler bnda nk buat lps ni!!!
there are sooo many things that i wanna do before tp x dpt sbb time constriction..
so smlm finally, after 3 yrs x pakai inai sbb tkut kena demerit, i got to wear it! muahahaha..
and today...

kitorg satu kelas pergi mid valley!!!
tau tak it's very hard for my parents to let me hang out with my friends..
and today after pujuk pnye pujuk..
alhamdulillah dpt prgi..
pstu umi n adik2 pun ikut tp kitorg pisah2..
my mom n sis pergi shopping n i got to chill with ma friends..

and u just don't know what im feelin...
i'm just sooo grateful that this moment, the last one to spend with my buddies,
i got to be a part of it..
i'm sooo over the galaxy, moon and sun :DDD

and, aq kagum gler dgn putera2 ibs..
like seriously, hands down..
plg trbaik aq prnh kenal..
dgn semangatnye,
bagus ah..
mmg ptut dipuji..

n aq dpt hadiah request pricey..
pstu xpayah bayar blk n im like...
smpi skrg lg excited..
like, the thing yg aq mmg nakkkk sgt...
pstu dpt..
it's like dreams come true..
muahahaha thx idris :D

n tadi,
kitorg main boling..
aq smpi lmbt sket sbb mak aq krja..
tp lmbt x lmbt, asal dpt hang out ngn dorg pn aq dh brsyukur dah..

yg plg lawak skali,
aq ngn sarah main boling serentak,
sorg satu lane..
serentak kitorg baling, serentak jugak dua2x masuk longkang..
blh kata hmpir smua yg kitorg baling msuk longkang..
nmpk x chemistry kt situ?
main boling pn same je..
dua2 ke longkang..

pstu yb ngn atiqah plak power gler main..
atiqah, bak kata yb..
ada satu bola azimat ni..
klu atiqah baling je, konfem.
aq pun nk try tp x jadi..
memang sahla.. bola tu nk atiqah je baling..

last but not least,
makan2 with sarah, syra n my gossip girl, aina amirah,
aq rse kitorg pnye kecoh borak2x tu, satu kedai makan blh dgr..
smpi org yg kat hujung tu pun pndg2 je..
pstu pakcik yg lalu pun pndg..
huah. malu lol...

blk tu angah ckp, angah yg pkai earphone pun blh dgr suara along kuat..
agaknye.. simptom speaker masjid sarah dh berjangkit kt aq kut..

lps ni mgkin speaker masjid dh x sme uni ngn aq..
so, aq knala practise jd speaker masjid spy x rindu sgt nnt :')

btw thx
fizah, sarah, farhah, nab2, yb, atiqah, nili,n yg lain2
cuz u made my day :)

hmm anyway,
i still have some times to spend with ma friends before we all terbang mmbawa diri..
so i gotta use it wisely and fill it with beautiful memories..
oyeah n i have a few plans for this loooong holiday but i just feel that it's not quite right to tell it first cuz maybe x jadi nnt..
so.. tgoklah mcm mana..
it's just tht
so far i'm SOOO GOOD :D

thts all.. byeeee :DD