Monday, June 30, 2014

Thursday, June 5, 2014


in the middle of the night.
i just wanna talk to you.
i don't know why.
but i like it.
talking to you.
you are very weird but honest and straightforward.
you are different and i like your thoughts on everything.
i like asking your help.
i like talking to you when everybody has fallen asleep.
i like knowing that you are wise and knowledgeable.
but you are cranky sometimes.
it's annoying and i'll count your crankiness to return it back when we talk again.
but you are also sensitive.
not that sensitive of being hurt or stuffs.
you are sensitive about what others feel.
you care about people.
you worry about them.
that's why i like talking to you.
despite the crankiness part, when you are warm, you are really warm.
and that's very calming.


it's been a while.
people around me are getting busy.
everybody has went to uni and i'm counting my days.
nevertheless, i don't really wanna go.
i want my 17 precious time back.
if only i can freeze it.
i want my friends all around me, laughing, crying, pranking, pulling each others' tudung.
i want that.
i wanna see farhah's hype climbing the mango tree at our school.
i wanna see enab rolls her eyes every time we quarrel.
i wanna see aya being cool and i wanna scratch tissues when i'm bored and put it in aya's pencil case until aya screams.
i want that.
i wanna see nili's 5 minutes non-stop laugh until she cries.
i wanna see dina being a mom when i quarrel with enab.
all that. i want it back.
i hate the fact that they've gone.
way too far.
i hate that we're living different lives.
and we cannot go like hey, i hate this school too.


what's the joy in life.
it's monotonous.
it's flat.
it's ugly.
it's boring.
it's torturing.
it's hurting.
it's traumatizing.
it's haunting.
i died at the end of the story.