when it comes to life,

it comes to my realization tht i blog quite often recently..
thus. it bids me to a question..
are u that 'free' as a uni student?
and my answer is..
nope..
i wish i have more time cuz i have a lot to tell..
everyday i learn a new thing,
everyday i have a new thought,
but i just don't have the time to blog about it becuz usually,
when there's even some times,
i'll choose to let my body n mind to have some rest..

but currently i've been blogging becuz my thoughts just flooded in..
and it's too much that i need to put it somewhere so that it won't spill..
and yes,
i steal the time..
to blog this..
hesitantly maybe.. but anyway feeling necessary..

so basically this is just my thought on my sis's thought..
to be honest,
i think,
we share the same idea just with a different needs n necessities..
??!?? *ignore my thoughts if it's confusing*
to me,
being optimistic/ dreaming on a happily ever after ending,
makes ur world vast..
it removes the limit that ur mind has set up for u..
an example,
if u keep walking on reality and follow what the reality has set for you,
you won't go anywhere..
you won't even beat the reality..
you will end up believing that ur capability is limited and u cannot do much..

while on the other hand,
hoping/dreaming makes u aim for higher achievement in life..
and for certain reasons,
it makes life feels more pleasant and livable..
and as for me,
i like to dream a lot..
even if it seems impossible,
i keep doing it because it brings comforts and reliefs to my life and makes me feel better..
because of dreaming,
i have something nice to look up to,
and i'll be able to motivate myself to hang on for a while when things came up..

i believe in the power of imagination n thoughts..
which when u welcome it,
it will become the most powerful thing ever in ur life..
it's like a shield that protects u from ppl thoughts and criticism,
and to a certain level, you will be very powerful that u cn control ur life well..
as for now,
i always believe that people have no right to intrude my life n thoughts,
even when they criticize,
it won't hurt me a bit as long as i believe in myself..
cuz, to me,
it's not worth it to get hurt by people and have my own life troubled while they won't even get affected..
so,
since now that i've learnt all this,
i realize how important 'u' r to urself..
therefore,
u should defend urself in any way...
protect it..

and again..
as for me,
me n myself are two different things..
me are the one who take actions now and myself are me all the time..
so, whatever it is,
i'll love myself all the way..
even when people criticize,
i know that i should appreciate myself for being this strong all the way..
if it's not the because of myself,
i won't be who i am now..

so thanks to myself that i manage to discover the beauties of life..
and to those out there,
never degrade urself..
remember how hard the real u have gone through life so far,
so don't degrade it..
but embrace it..
each of us are different,
and nobody says that different is not good..
stop looking at others..
look at u..
u hve been created beautifully, by Allah The Almighty..
He has created the best of you..
so cherish it..
if u have negative thoughts about urself,
put it aside,
focus on more positive things,
as it shall lead u to better things..

that's all i think for tonight..
xoxo :)

my oath

i love my mom with all my heart and even if she gets old, i would remember all of this..
whatever happens, as long as i'm still alive and capable, i'll make sure ur in my good care mom..
that's my oath for u insyaAllah :)

notes: i found this on facebook and i thought about sharing it..

My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Peña.
Translation to English by Sergio Cadena

about life and feelings

my mom told me,
when i was a child, my parents were studying in universities..
therefore they couldn't take care of me 24/7..
so they decided to send me to a nursery..
and mom said,
every day, when they're going to pick me up..
i'll be staring through those grills waiting for someone to take me home..
and mom said,
i looked so sad and with full of hope..
even when everybody makes friends and play..
i eagerly hold those grills, look outside, searching for the presence of my mom..
and every time they came,
i'll be jumping up and down, looking so happy..

and everybody that i met now,
told me once ago,
i was a child who cried every time when my mom was not around me..
if the person who holds me is not my mom,
i'll cry...
that's me..
i never wanted to get separated with my mom ever since i was a little kid..

and i'm still the same now..
being in utp,
i feel blessed..
utp is so special, not like other universities,
islamic, happening, good environment n surrounding..
but i just don't want to be far from my mother this long..
and my sisters n dad too...
i just want to spend my life with people i love,
seeing them growing up in front of my eyes,
hug them when i feel sad,
tell them how i feel when i need to..
it's just very necessary.
sharing my feelings with the one that i love..

up till this moment,
i'm still imagining utp as a camp..
that i'll leave my family for a while,
then i'll go back home, and never to return back..
up until now,
i'm still being positive about this..
that it's not going to be long until i'll meet my family..

i'm going home

tell me

life has just started.

tell me about life, once again..
although i've grown up and i've heard about it before..

tell me about life, once again..
cuz i feel that i wanna know more..

tell me about life, once again..
as i'm afraid that i've chosen the wrong way..

tell me about life, once again..
as i want to remake this all again..

it's not too late,
and it's not too early either..

all i want is to have a fresh start,
be a new person,
have a better attitude,
appreciate people more,
complain less
and of all that,
i wish for a happiness in life that whatever comes in, will be appreciated
and i want to be more grateful of the blesses that He, Allah The Almighty gave me...

i want to be someone better, inside and outside..
as i'm afraid that if i let myself go further,
it will drown..

so dear,
tell me again a once-upon-a-time story about life,
for this time,
i'll be all ears for what ur going to say :)

after all the who's and why, it has finally came to the conclusion

so yesterday i dunno whether i'm going to utp or not..
and today, during breakfast my parents decided that i should..
and to this point, i'm actually neutral for any answer from them..
like if they say i shouldn't then i'm okay..
but..
the moment they said, we guess u should..
i was like..
whatttt *in a cool way of course*
seriously..
rlly?
i should go?
and it's mix-feelings..
idk what to say..
i feel nervous that it's going to be so far away and i've just got the chances to treat my lil sis nicely *lol*
and this is my first time staying away from my family *surprise2*

but anyway...
i'm not asking for much.. i just hope for these things..
washing machine. wifi. refrigerator.. and good food. please..
at least they have a near express mart and sell breads and spread-stuffs, jelly or anything.. and chocolate of course please..
and a nice roommate.. hopefully a talkative one like me so life would be merrier :)

besides separating with my family,
i'm going to get a new laptop insyaAllah..
and i'm super excited that i'll have one of my own..
not that i want it for my own,
it's just that, it feels cool to have one of your own you know..
so that's the good thing to look up to,
only i wish that i cn buy them with my own money if i work,
but it seems like earning my own money would be somewhat later, for now..
so that's it..
please pray for my safety and comfort..
may Allah bless you all, have a great day people :)

since life is an option

The uncertainty in life kills me..
It is not a great murder though since i find it amusing and hilarious..
that i laugh so much and i die..
but then i live again..
blur and curious,
asking myself the same question again..
look at the wall,
and finally decided,
hey it's just the same thing over and over again until i choose..
and put a stop to it..

making decision is always tough for me..
and i realized that it becomes more severe as i grow up
and it is serious since a lot of important decision needs to be made when you've grown up..
i kinda sort it out when i was form 5 by deciding to follow my guts whenever i need to decide..
without proper thinking, i just do what i think i should do..
consequences are to be dealt later on..
and it's fine for me though..
nothing hurt so far..
and it's fun and thrilling :D
however,
when i'm 18,
i would love to do the same thing..
but the problem is,
if it's just about me and my world,
it will totally be as easy as ABC..
the problem is,
it's not..
it's about others too..
like when deciding on a course or whether or not i will go to a university,
the thing is not just about me..
it's also about my parents and my family..
they are the one who will pay my expenses and stuff..
and if i just want to give a try in a certain course and spend away a bunch of money.,
it's not totally worth it..
it's like throwing 17K to the sea just for fun..
and worse, it's not even my money that i used..
it's my parents' and my sisters'

so that begs me to think more and deeply in taking things to consideration..
it's not that i'm taking this too much..
it's just that i wanna make sure that i have a clear vision of what i want for my future..
although i dunno how my future looks like,
but at least i have a vision of it and if anything happens,
well, i can say i've tried my best and things just don't come out the way i planned..
that would be fine for me..

lately,
i've been offered to UTP for an ict course..
and i received several responses..
some laugh, some shut themselves up and some congratulate me, which is a good thing.. thanks guys..
and, i'm very touched with the help from my debate family..
they surely help a lot until i thought that, in the time of need, debate family helps the most..
but no no..
Allah helps the most, that's why He sent me these great people..
and seniors from UTP also helped me a lot..
and i'm touched..
like seriously,
we don't even know each other and they like,
hey, when you've decided your choice, do inform me okay?
and this one akak told me,
if u went to utp, maybe we'll meet there and if u don't, maybe we'll run into each other in the real life.. so just inform me whether you're going or not later..
and i'm touched..
:')
awh why people are so nice

oh and this is a guideline from kimi on how to pick a course..
it is really helpful for me.. and maybe u guys too :)

ok here's a guideline of what to assess prior to deciding what course to pursue in.. 1. Job Prospect- how is the job demand when u graduate in that particular field 2.what possible jobs can u have if u graduate in that field- very important. i'ts important to know that your field of work is wide and flexible. petroleum engineering is not flexible3. how much is the pay for those occupations 4. how is the course. what are u actually gonna study. how long does it take 5. in what institutions is that course famous and acknowledged that's basically what u need to research before deciding


and about my utp offers,
i let my parents decide because to this certain point,
i'm already prepared for any possibilities..
hahah..
maybe i find a job or continue babysitting if they don't think going is the best choice..
and if they do,
oh well,
why life moves so fast? and just one thing, i wish they have a washing machine.. i never want to wash my clothes on my own..
sakit tengkuk and tangan..
meh, i'm not spoiled.. i just love technology that much :D

and just now my sister asked me a question about chemistry and i cannot do the equation..
how2?
i'm afraid slowly, everything that i learnt will be swept away just like poof..
meh.. takutnye..
i love chemistry though..
huhu whatever it is,
let's pray to Allah for His decision is always the best :)

recap of 2013 :D

"it's the fun of hitting the ups and downs in life that i cherished the most in 2013 :D"

well to be honest, 2013 is the best year i've ever had so far.. and i'm so thankful that i've been blessed with such beautiful people and events that makes my life feels more exciting and challenging.. it's truly a gift.. alhamdulillah :) and surprisingly, this may not be a fun entry cuz it's long n it's about my life so, choose the topic (tuition - kawan2 - cerita sekolah - spm - conclusion) that u preferred to read or just skip this entry cuz meh idk if it's worth it for ur time.. time is gold u know.. and i am silver.. so bcuz gold is better than silver.. sometimes u have to ignore me u know.. :D

so this year,
a lot of unexpected-extraordinary things happen..
it almost kill me every time..
lol just kidding..
it's not that big like a war or something, but it is something that i never face and expected before..

so im gonna stick to malay this time cuz it feels more honest from me..

1) tuition

so thn ni,
aq kena gak update psl tusyen.. sbb kwn2 tusyen aq thn ni sgt2 special..
ive already made a post earlier abt em..
and tu kwn2 room 4..
aq ade gak join kls room 1 tiap2 hri jumaat..
klu room 1 aq rpt ngn nazirah n farhana..
klu ngn nazirah aq slalu borak psl ssid, izzue islam, tiz zaqyah.. pstu psl hal2 skolah..
kdg2 rse mcm menteri pelajaran plak lol..

and pastu adela en sekali ni ad intensif kt tusyen..
aq promote kat sarah sruh join..
and sarah pun join tp dia sorg2 xde kawan, so aq pun joinlah skali..
lps tu..
aq ni matlamat hidup jelas sket, *sblm spm*
dtg tusyen blaja je, fokus..
pstu adelah somebody ni..
for some reasons, step into my life..
like i dunno hw it happened, it just did..
pstu haru kejap hidup aq..
mula2 happy gak..
tp lama2 aq rse aq hlg fokus dlm pljrn aq..
mse trial la teruk..
sbb ntah knp wlupun kitorg x sme kelas,
byk plak coincidence satu per satu..
dlu mgkin aq rse mcm, wht a coincidence!
tp skrg aq rse, meh, dunia ni kecik logically,
and religiously, kdg2 syaitan mmg ske cocok2.. biasela kerja dia..
yang kita ikut tercocok tu knp en..
so ble dh tersedar tu,
slowly la aq recover blk..
ecehhh..
n alhamdulillah mse spm aq dh full recovery lah..
cme adela aq sakit mse subjek killer2 tu sbb minum air sejuk..
tp xdela sbb bdk tu dh..

all in all,
hidup ni, mmg kdg2 kita trumbang ambing sbb tu kena doa byk2 utk kuatkan hati n tmbhkan pengetahuan agama.. :)

skrg ni ble aq igt blk bnda tu lwk la gak cuma xleh la buat cmtu klu kita nk brjaya dlm hidup..
jgn fikir dan layan benda yang x perlu..
hati ni klu terusik, susah..
so kita kna sntiasa fokus dgn matlamat hidup kita..
:D

ok back psl tusyen,

tusyen kitorg awesome sbb acik tu pndai masak mknn sedap2..
cikgu kitorg sgt2 baik..
slalu fhm kalau aq miss kelas ke ape..
dorg akn ajar balik personally..
and kalau nk exam en,
cgu akan separate kls ikut exam subjek ape..
prnah skli tu, dlm kls aq, smua nk periksa fizik,
cgu pun ajar dorg fizik tp aq plak sorg2 nk periksa mathmode,
so cgu Alia bagi aq soalan2 mathmode sruh buat and klu x fhm tnye dia..
pastu cgu terangla satu2..
like seriously baik gler..
n kwn2 kat tusyen aq byk ajar psl life,
the reality,
the people,
n the most important thing, jgn judge org..
pstu speedmart dekat gler ngn tusyen..
tiap2 hari aq pegi beli teh hijau pokka :D

2) kawan2

weyh 2013 ni xleh ckap psl kwn2..
sbb seriously mmg dorg awesome..

fizah, sarah, syra, enamira, enab, farhah, nili, dina, aina, jat, aya, amira, yb, fatin, yam, madi, saadah n yg lain2 gak i love u guys n thank you :')

n tetibe skrg ni aq rse rindu kat yam plak..
wlupun yam garang,
tp yam ni baik.. n dia berdisiplin..
n dia jugak sensitif :D
pastu yam ni suka balut hadiah..
klu korg mcm aq en,
pemalas dlm smua hal termasuklah utk menggerakkan jari jemari utk balut hadiah,
beli je pembalut, selotep, gunting, pstu bawak gi skolah..
pstu dduk dpn yam,
kluarkan smua bnda tu,
pstu action sket mcm nk balut en,
nnt msti yam tny kau nk dia tlg x..
hehehe..
pstu bagi je yam..
dijamin kualiti mmbalut mengalahkan hospital 5 bintang..
siap ade lipat2 lah kipaslah..
lawaaaa glerrr...
pstu yam pndai buat belalang, udang..
mcm2.. pkai daun pokok je..
hebat en?
aq tukang tgok je..
pstu ble dh siap aq amik hahaha..
*nampak x aq rindu yam*

pastu dh citer pasal yam nk citer psl trio aq plak..
kitorg bknlah geng..
sbb bler aq dh msuk maahad ni, byk blaja pasal assabiyah en..
so aq lebih prefer utk kawan ngn sume org n klu blh sume org dlm kls tu jd kwn baik aq..
sbb ntahla sshla nk geng2 bagai..
x best..
tp dorg ni jd trio aq sbb kami bertiga asalnya dri 4 ibs..
pstu, slalunye kitorg brtiga ni mmg berkepit ke mana2..
trio aq ni ialah sarah n fizah..
sbb, fizah ni pen.ketua.kelas/tingkatan (pkt) kitorg..
so bykla urusan negara dia kena buat..
aq plak pengawas p.sumber je tp ade gak kerja2 yg kena buat..
sarah ni badar, pun sama..
utk pengetahuan awam, kt maahad ni smua manusia bz..
dari murid biasa, cikgu, shinggalah ke tukang sampu dan acik tukang masak..
tnyelah..
smua bz weyh.. series..
so, kitorg ni slalu teman each other klu ade urusan pape..
yelah org kata, kwn yg baik ni, susah sng msti bersama hehehe
pstu mmg funlah hari2 aq kat maahad..
dgn fizah slalu borak psl one Direction..
sarah plak,
dia ni blur gler..
hahaha
pstu naif yg teramat..
so hmpir stiap hari jgaklah aq kenakan dia.. tp popia basah lg slalu kena prank dgn aq.. sbb semeja ennn hahaha..
n sarah buat rekod sbg mangsa plg byk kena sorok kasut ngn aq..
dulu aq tgok bdk putera je sorok kasut ni..
skali aq trylah en sorok kasut sarah..
rpe2nye best jgak sorok kasut org ni..
so starting from tht day,
mmgla hbes sarah jd mngsa..
enab ngn farhah pun prnh kena gak..
kuang3..
n ade satu hri tu,
kelas kitorg bru pasang karpet,
so kiranya sblum msuk kls, cabut kasut dlu, nk pegi makmal bru pakai..
n mse tu kitorg tgh wktu fizik kut..
pstu sarah ni lambat..
sbb tu gelaran dia nenek 2.O..
aq pun ajk yb sorok kasut dia..
yb tanya, wey nk sorok kat mane?
aq ckp, jauh2lah wey.. kls razi pun xpe.. *kls razi tu kls sblh je*
pstu ble sarah kluar dia cri kasut..
n btw kitorg sorok kasut sblh je slalunye..
org lain smua dh pegi makmal tggal aq ngn sarah je..
sbb sarah ni mmglah ya ampun kenenekannya terserlah..
pstu aq pn buat2 x tahu smbil tlg dia cri kasut walhal aq yg sruh yb sorok..
skali mmg xde..
aq pegi cek kat kelas razi ngn rusyd..
pun xde..
so sahlah yb mmg dh sorok jauh2..
aq pun rse serba salah..
xtau nk buat ape..
sarah ni plak,
pkai je kasut sblh yg ade tu and dia lari terhincut2,
dari hujung blok smpi tangga..
kalau aq, mgkinla aq brkaki ayam terus drpd pkai sblh kasut en..
tp sarah x,
dia pnye smgt smpi siap lari trhincut2..
aq ni tgok,
nak gelak pun ade, kesian pun ade..
yelah.. aq gak dalangnye..
rpe2nye yb sorok kasut sarah kt bawah kat makmal..
pstu aq pn mengaku aq yg sruh tp x expect lah en sejauh tu..
pstu yb kata alang2 dh sorok, biar jauh betul..
pstu hbes a aq kena ngn sarah..
huhuhu

all in all,
kwn2 aq thn ni sgt setia ngn aq thru ups and downs..
n tbh thn ni byk kli gak aq frust, kecewa, kdg2 nk putus asa pun ada..
tp dorg smua sentiasa bagi semangat kat aq..
ssh senang sama2..
bg nasihat, teman ke mana2..
all of them..
ble aq rse hopeless n sedih sgt,
syra akan peluk and ckp it's alright..
fizah plak, sntiasa ade utk aq.. dgr cerita smua and sgt memahami,
enab plak slalu bg kata2 smgt ble aq down..
sarah, slalu dgr n klu aq salah dia akn tegur..
farhah pun sama..
amira selalu dgr cerita2 aq..
yb slalu tlg aq dgn pndpt2 dia..
aya pun slalu nasihat aq..
madi slalu jd lawan debate aq,
saadah slalu share citer2 best,
enamira my gossi girl,
jat yg prihatin,
outsiders yg cool,
thx koranggg i love u guys lillahhi taala :)
n sebenarnye mmg aq nk citer byk2 lg psl kwn2 aq,
tp aq rse nnt mmg x smptla nk post bnda ni hri ni en..
so nnt la aq buat tab khas utk kwn2 tercinta aq.. hehehe

3) cerita sekolah

mse awal thn en,
aq sedih sketla.. sbb kena turun kelas..
elok2 dulu ibs, skrg kena turun kelas.. tp salah sendiri la slalu x masuk kelas mse form 4..
pastu aq sbnrnye x pernah turun kelas dri darjah 1..
and nak jadikan citernye,
masa dpt tahu turun kelas tu rasa mcm kena tampar kat muka *hiperbola sket*
sebab yelah, form 5 en nak spm pastu tetibe result akhir tahun teruk plak..
haru gak masa tu fikir, seumur hidup aq skolah, smua class first sekali tang yang dah last2 ni, yang dh nak keluar skolah la aq turun kelas..
huhuhu..
tapi masa skola bukak tu aq dh mentally and emotionally stabil skit sbb dah pke2 en, dan aq rasa turun kelas bukanlah penghalang utk berjaya..
hahahaha.. besides kat kelas razi ramai kwn2 ibs aq yg dulu..
kami diturunkan secara berjemaah huhuhu..
so masa bkk skola tu aq dh x kesah sgt sbb paradigma pasal 5 ibs ni msti kelas kubur..
so aq rse macam alhamdulillah aq msuk razi.. mgkin rezeki utk aq meningkatkan bakat membuat bising aq..
and first day skolah, macam biasa, aq akan bgun gler awal untuk cop tempat yang plg best dlm kelas..
so pagi2 kul 4:30 kut aq bangun, siap2 pastu sampai skolah aq cop barisan tengah and yang depan sekali *kat maahad putera smua ddk depan, so puteri kena ddk blkg dorg*
kiranya aq cop tempat plg depan puteri blh dduk..
pastu aq copkan skali, tmpat sebelah aq, blkg aq dan sekitarnya utk kawan2 baik aq hehehe..
kiranye mmg bestlah en,
tempat duduk aq, tengah, depan, bawah kipas, sblh kwn2..
tapi dah kitorg ddk happy2 tu..
tetibe angin bertiup kencangnya mengatakan kitorg kena rombak kelas..
bru sehari masuk kelas kena tukar kelas lagi and im like what...

pastu tup2 aq kena tukar masuk ibs..
tapi yang x bestnye budak ibs x byk yg kena tukar.. dua tiga org je kut..
so kiranya aq xleh cop tempatla sbb dorg dh dduk tempat masing2..
aq pun rasa cam pffttt..
dah awal2 bangun cop tempat smua skali kena tukar..
pastu mse nk masuk tu aq sedih sketla..
kwn2 x ramai n kena ddk belaaaakang skali n aq dhla rabun..
aq mmg x suka tmpt belakang2 ni..
rasa cam jauh gler dari cikgu..
tp alhamdulillah sarah and fizah ade..
semangat dorg mengangkutkan meja kerusi utk letak kat blkg untuk aq..
and aq pun lega skit..
n mse tu aq duk sblh madi n blkg aina dgn jat..
aq awkward gak bbrp bulan pertama.. ecehh..
tp lme2 lps tu,
barulah aq tau jat ni minat kpop..
aq ni dulu peminat setia gak..
tp lama2 dh kurg sket sbb band fav aq super junior dh berpecah belah..huhu
tp adik aq ni mmg peminat kpop gak..
so slalu aq dgr citer n update trbaru kpop ni..
wlupun aq dh x bkk allkpop tiap hri mcm dlu, aq taula the latest psl kpop2 ni..
pastu aq pun kamching a ngn jat..
dh minat same en :D

jat ni byk barang..
slalu gam, gunting smua aq mintak kat dia..
pastu dh dduk blkg kelas en..
x nampak, x dgr..
pastu time ngantuk2 tu, slalu la aq borak ngn madi..
kadang2 gaduh pasal peraturan skolah yg x munasarawak..
pastu tetibe baru sedar..
eh apela cgu ckp tadi..
so jat ngn ena lah terang blk satu satu hehehe..
n klu ade bnda x fhm tu tanye dorg je..
sbb dorg mmg pandai..
pastu lama2 rajinlah plak kitorg ni bkerjasama..
klu ade yg aq fhm dorg x fhm, aq ajar..
yg dorg faham aq x faham, dorg ajar..
best ah.. dh rse mcm family..
pstu aq ni kuat mkn..
tp sbb penolong ketua pengawas duk sblh..
xdptla den nk meneruskan hobi tercinta.. huhu..
skli dh bulan berapa tu,
madi tukar tmpat ngn aya..
aya pun mcm aq gak,
trcampak kat ibs mse hari kedua..
kwn2 kitorg byk kt kelas lain..
so aya duk sblh aq..
aq ni sbnrny x brp rapat ngn aya dulu..
tp aya ni cool hehehe..
so smnjak dri tu dptlah aq meneruskan hobi mengisi perut yg lapar..
sbb slaluny rehat x smpt makan..
so aq bli mknn n makan kt kelas..
peraturan skolah mmg x blh sbnrnye..
and klu madi sblh aq mmg dia x bagi mkn..
aq fhmlah tanggungjawab dia en..
betulla ape dia buat tu,
tp aq suka buat peraturan sndiri..
pada aq en,
peraturan ni function dia utk memudahkan hidup manusia..
n peraturan ni haruslah flexible mengikut keadaan..
macam islam.. :D
so pada aq,
selagi makanan tu x tumpah, x kotorkan kelas, n bukan masa cgu mengajar,
bolehla makan..
so starting from that rajinlah kitorg sharing kerepek, roti dan sbgainye..
aya pun slalu ade stok makanan and aya mmg pemurah..
so menggemuklah aq dduk sblh dia..
tapi aq happy hahaha...
pastu jat ena.. slalu a kitorg passing2 makanan..
seronok plak aq rasa..

and ena ngan jat ni cool gler..
klu kena gruping ke ape,
kadang2 aq join kumpulan dorg..
dgn nik aina, husna..
sebarisla dorg tu..
dorg smua baik2 n sporting..
kdg2 ade gak aq menyakat dorg..

pastu nak pendekkan lagi citer,
kitorg smua kena rombak lagi tempat...
tukar buat style grup..
so aq pun dduk dgn aya, enab, farhah, dina n nili..
seriously aq ckp..
bnda ni unexpected gler..
like aq x sangka a kitorg jd rapat gilos lps dduk semeja tu..

n aq x taula npe tetibe aq jd hyper-happy plak dduk dlm grup tu..
aq rse tiap2 hari kut aq menyakat dorg..
smpai ade satu hari tu aq kenakan enab, pstu enab kenakan aq, last2 gaduh..
tp gaduh main2 la bkn yg series mcm taufan katrina tu..
tp best gler a..
pastu sarah n fizah plak blkg aq..
like dekat gler sbb ddk dlm grup so mcm klu duduk en kerusi kitorg berlanggar sbb dekat sgt..
so senanglah nk kenakan each other..
kadang2 masa tgh berdiri ke,
kitorg main tarik2 tudung..
sbnrnye aq rse fizah ke sarah tah yg tarik tdung aq dlu,
pastu enab pun join skali..
agak tah pape lah sbnrnye..
pastu enab dia suka tarik tudung org tp klu bab tudung dia,
dia sgt sensitif..
sehingga sanggup buat perjanjian damai spy x de org tarik tudung dia..
hahaha..
man.. cerita pasal grup popia basah ni aq kena sambung kat tmpt lain..
byk sgt nk citer..

tp classmates aq mmg awesome..
fyi kelas ibs xdela kubur pun..
bising je mengalahkan hantu cina..
lps tu ceria, meriah..
best sgt2!
and kwn2 sporting, klu nk tnye pape dorg on je..
pstu dorg x nerd tau.. slalu je lggar peraturan, aq pun sama.. hahaha
to farhah, enab, nili, deena, aya, sarah, fizah, ariefah, yb, atiqah, yam, hazirah, nad, el, wardah, madi, siti sarah, nik, aina, jat, husna, azwa, idris, muntazar, wafie, mat nor, arsyad, mibon, ameer, ariff ikmal, hafizi, mirep, openg, muqri.. thx for the wonderful senior year :)

all in all,
form 5 aq dkt maahad hamidiah best glerr
alhamdulillah, aq dpt closure yg baik utk zaman prsekolahan aq..
so skrg ni officially aq bkn murid skolah dah, tp still murid kepada kehidupan..
and sedih gak senanya..
dulu mls nk pkai baju skolah
*tp best gak sbnrny sbb baju skola sejuk dgn tudung labuh kalau tgh angin sepoi2 bahasa, rasa mcm air cond :D*
tapi skrg kn klula tetibe aq rindu nk pkai uniform skolah, aq dh xleh pkai dh..
nnt org kata pelik XD

4) spm

dlm byk2 psl 2013 ni mstila ade citer psl spm kan..
tbh spe yg x amik spm lg,
aq bgtau awal2,
spm ssh gler.. x de maknenye trial lg ssh dri spm..
spm mmg ssh like seriously..
so prepare awal2..
n jaga kesihatan..
aq mse second week tu,
teringin sgt nk minum air sejuk padahal aq sbnrny mmg x leh minum sejuk2,
nnt dtgla segala penyakit..
tp dh hbes spm ni aq minum je.. haha
pstu terus, migrain, batuk, selesema, sakit tekak,
mmg ssh gler nk bgun sbb kepala aq rse mcm kna hempap ngn batu..
first paper yg aq ambik mse sakit tu en,
addmath..
mlm tu aq mmg siyes x larat nk bgun..
aq baring je..
skali pukul satu kan..
aq tringat everyday aq skola smpi kul 4:30, pegi tusyen kul 5:15, blk 10:30 mlm..
blaja gle2..
skali sakit mse spm n result aq ke laut..
so pkul 1 tu aq bgun gak..
sakit pun sakitla..
aq study addmath smpai pagi x tdur sbb aq x brp igt formula smua kan..
yela seminggu spm fokus subjek lain je..
pastu smpai amik test x tdo lgsg..
tp xpela pape jd pun aq dh buat yg trbaik..
cme mse syariah mmg dh x larat sgt,
syariah plak paper esoknye..
aq dh mmg x larat so tdo je..
paper syariah mmg aq blh kata teruk gak..
tp pape pun doa kat Allah hrp ok je..
pstu next weeknye fizik kimia bio straight..
and aq x sihat lg..
mse bio plg teruk aq rse..
tp like i said pape pun doa..
pastu ade gap lamaaa bru pper last, barab..
mse tu alhamdulillah dh sihat..
and mse dh siap barab tu..
aq rse happy glerrr
like spm is over baby!!!
ble aq tles ni pun aq msih rse hype mse hbes spm hri tu.. :D
#SyurgaDunia

5) conclusion

hah to this point aq dh tak tau nk ckp ape sbb rse mcm byk sgt..
to conclude everything,
2013 ni aq byk belajar psl friendship and relationship ngn org..
and plg penting skali 2013 is like the turning point of my life..
like the transition from a teen to an adult..
so agak mencabar gak sbnrnye..
and i figured out a lot about myself this year..
which makes things more confusing..
tapi. confuse dgn cara yg baik..
like at least i know the other part of me now :)
i figured out that i have 2 personalities..
but not bipolar cuz both of them are me..
which is one.. i am one.. not two..
it just happened that the characteristics contradict each other because i am a contradict person :D
klu mood hyper, i'll become the extrovert side but if otherwise, otherwise lah..
camtu la lebih kurang..
haha so thats it for 2013..
byk lg nk tles but i think i'll just write it ble ade masa nnt..
oklah assalamualaikum :)

p/s: this is supposed to be posted yesterday tp tbe2 rmh blackout, so hri ni bru siap tles