Saturday, March 29, 2014

settling down

hi, it's been a while since i haven't updated you on my current issue,
even though it doesn't seem necessary, but still, posting an entry on your life is like plotting your life sequence..
only when it comes to an end, you can see the beautiful patterns of ups and downs, trials and errors and the most exciting part would be to look at the beautiful days you've had for your entire life :)

the thing is that,
it's been quite a while since i've became interested to be honest and let it all outs in my blog..
i don't have the guts for most of the time..
but today,
when i finally settled down and admitted that i am flawed in every single way and that's just a normal thing for human, cuz we all are created flawed, i feel better in sorts of way.

everybody has imperfections but the difference is on how they, each of them, deal and live with it..
sometimes i hate my flaws..
i wanna be perfect tbh..
but what's perfect tho?
ones may say this and this are perfect,
others may say that and that are perfect,
until when and when,
you can never satisfy people..
and actually people don't need to be satisfied..
they are just solely observing on how you deal with your life..
nothing as such such that you need to be this this..
i probably think too much.

oh well,
that's basically what i learnt and realized now..
and i wanna keep my life more natural and lively from day to day..
i'm working on it though..
it's not easy to take a small step for a big change..
but it's surely will be worth it..

one of the thing that pushes me to realize this is probably debate,
when i went to training that day and mugabe was provoking *he's just playing around*
my attitude just happened to be who i really am..
i like being, in that case, cocky and defensive..
it feels like a full satisfaction when you become yourself no matter what..
and when it happened,
nothing should be regretted..

and also my conversations with hasni, nina and fik yesterday..
makes me think a lot..
makes me wonder all this time, what i've been doing..
it was a fun conversation and i really appreciated it..

so thanks guys for helping me finding myself again..
although i might still not change much,
still not being that talkative or whatever,
i will try..
and that is because, you helped me..
thanks friends..

each and every single one of you has taught me something valuable on life.. and i thank you guys for that 

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