Monday, May 12, 2014

may i finally find the real peace

i'm feeling relieved..
for days i've been wondering..
how vast and complicated the world is..
as much as i know that i can make it easy,
i also know that this one small step can trouble me in the future..

i am confused to choose..
at one moment i already wholeheartedly believe that i belong to uia..
but chatting with my girls from utp,
it brings back the memories..
how hard it is, at first struggling and coping with university life..
n then i met the girls who cheer up every single second of my life..
the bittersweet memories are so priceless..
thinking about it,
i feel reluctant to let it go..

but then i've prayed..
and comparing between utp n uia,
i found more advantages in utp..
but my heart feels that i belong to uia..
it's not again bcus of debate or anything..
i haven't found any concrete reason why i should leave utp n go to uia,
but my heart..
it's like an answer to my prayer..
i feel like i just belong there i dunno why..
and i, since haven't found the reason why i should leave utp,
discussed with my parents..
and much to my surprise,
my parents told me to follow what my heart says..
the answer to my istikharah..
they asked me to follow what Allah shows me..
and i told them about the job prospect n stuffs,
how utp is more beneficial than uia from my point of view and how i'm very confused why my heart is more inclined to uia..
it's not like my heart nk masuk uia..
it feels like something's calling me..
like hey, u belong here n ur now closer to a place that will give you peace and happiness..
it feels like that.
and my parents dgn sgt tenang told me..
xpelah sayang, rezeki along insyaAllah byk..
ikutla ptunjuk istikharah tu..
eventho it seems like if i msuk uia, my job prospect mcm x byk sgt n stuffs,
but my parents told me that Allah knows best and as His slaves, kita brserah je to His decision n go with the flow..
sgt tenang i tell you..
how my parents told me that..
and i was like x sng dduk and keep saying tapi utp is this this..
but idk y my heart mcm ni..
n i told them the wonders that i've experienced in utp..
but they told me to follow what my istikharah said..
and i know that in my life,
there are many things that i felt reluctant to choose,
but since it's what my istikharah/my parents' istikharah answers,
i followed it,
and it turns out to be way better than i expected..
because like i say,
Allah knows best..

and i just couldn't describe how peaceful i feel about uia..
it's like thinking about it just give me a sort of peacefulness..

so i'm considering one more day to do my istikharah once again..
cuz i really want to make sure about this..
then i'll make up my mind..

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