sick

i'm sick now and it almost 5 to 6 days i think..
and i cannot help myself from whining and sighing..
i miss my healthy body..
it makes me feel energetic, happy and optimistic..
but when i'm sick, it feels suck..
cuz i cannot breath properly,
i cannot eat like i used to,
i cannot have a good sleep,
my head aches because i'm lacking of oxygen..
it's too much.

but people always reminded me that sickness is kaffarah..
(kaffarah means a repayment for your sins..)
n the purpose of kaffarah is to wash your sins away...
which is a good thing..
being sick is a good thing because let's admit it,
we have committed tons of sins and there's no way we can pay for it unless He wants us to..
that's why He makes us sick in the first place..
because He loves us and before the Judgement Day comes,
He wants us to be all clean so we can enter Jannah..

there is one term i can't remember it right now, that we learn in AlQuran n AsSunnah which means that there are certain people who Allah gives them easiness and comfort to add their 'kesesatan'.. *can't find the right term sorry*
a simple example will be the Pharaoh.. Allah gives him immortality and he never fell sick during his lifetime simply because Allah wants to add his *kesesatan* since he is too arrogant to Allah.. Therefore Allah let him be among the lost people..

to relate back to the sickness,
if you fall sick or have difficulties then that's actually a GOOD thing because Allah wants to remind you, He wants you to get back to the right path and you should be REALLY REALLY grateful for it..

oh kay.
now onto my second point.
since sickness is kaffarah right..
so i kinda imagine it as an after-effect..
imagine, if you live in mud and dirt everyday,
you will eventually get sick isn't it?
same goes to this,
when you fall sick,
have you ever wondered how much you have sinned that you become as sick as this?
the sins are like the dirt..
you've sinned too much that's why you fall sick..
and when you recovered probably because the sins have been cleaned, like the dirt.. if you cleaned the dirt and kill all the bacteria then only you will be healthy again..
what a metaphor right?

so that's it for tonight.. i can't wait to get healthy again cuz i only have some days left before going back to utp and i REALLY REALLY want to spend my time happily with my family and being sick just makes me feel tired and weary to join them in their activities..
so i hope i'll recover soon..
assalamualaikum