anyway

i realized tht when im at uni..
im far from my family n friends..
and even when i hve problems..
i don't express it like before..
i don't cry, scream or hug my friends..
i don't talk to my mom..
cuz the thing is,
im far from them n even if i tell them, they cant do anything n also i dont want them to worry much
besides every problem has a solution..
and when the road seems too dark for me to walk,
ill sit down and rest for a while until something lights up or i just walk blindly..
because that just feels like the right thing to do..
being sad, angry or depressed,
all those negative stuffs,
are definitely normal..
and i admit that i used to cry and cry and cry a lot when i dunno what to do..
but now,
even crying seems pointless..
being blank and stupid seems so much better..

sometimes a long shower would help..
relieving and calming my emotions..
idk..
now its more abt being on ur own..
everything..
even when it seems like i couldnt do it..
either way, i just have to and should find a way...

so thats basically a lil bit of what ive discovered about myself now..
i think ive changed a bit..
when it comes to conflict n crisis lol..
but i know this is just the tip of the iceberg..
anyway, im still finding a way to be more emotionally stable..
as ive always been so sensitive to things..