Wednesday, December 10, 2014

how sweater season turns to be and of being introverted

mom is always amazed of my "non-stop and won't stop communicating" skills,
she believes that she's an introvert and as we all know,
an introvert does find difficulties in social situations furthermore when it comes to people that they aren't familiar with.
but i think my mom isn't that bad at social skills though, maybe a little bit but i do honestly think, introverts and their extreme honesty are necessary in our life because the world is too full of deception.

so, there's that,
mom said i am obviously an extrovert and then i figured out that there's also a mix of introvert and extrovert which is ambivert.
but after taking test and as what my mom recommended, i discover that i am extrovert.
so why does this matter so much?

here's from a point of an extrovert *if i'm really one of them*
we get tired.
we get tired trying to be nice and suppressing our real thoughts on things sometimes simply because we care a LOT about our relationships with people.
because we believe that relationships are the one which keep us going,
which keep our life lively.
but to a certain extend,
sometimes we wish that others will have feelings too.
meaning, would understand or at least try to be in our shoes.
considering the facts that we seemed to be cool and easygoing and don't care about stuffs,
but we're actually humans like you guys too.
be logical and sensible when it comes to our belongings,
be polite and careful with jokes,
because we're humans too.

i get tired from relationships and decided to have some break.
just having my sweater season by reducing my social interactions with people and it's quite hard because sometimes you just wanna talk and talk and people acts are amusing!
they are funny, people are incredible but i just wanna put it aside
because i believe that when we started to open up we will eventually let both things mix up, the bad jokes and good jokes, bad acts and good acts, those stuffs.
and we'll get hurt because obviously you need to pay for what you get,

so i'm thinking about the introverts.
how lucky they are to have just a small group of really highly trusted people around them and to not have to face hurtful things by people who aren't even close to them.
although it sounds lonely and boring, but it is adequate enough to have a small life and enjoy the little things around you.
at least that's what i think.
about being socially awkward, i can't comment on that because i, when sometimes become awkward in situations, will also feel uneasy and just don't prefer that kind of personality.
so that's that.

and after resting from social network which is mainly just twitter where i have lots of *friends* that i'm *closed* with,
i feel lonely but i keep books as my company.
whenever i feel boring with nothing to do and people to talk to,
i pick my book and it sorts of make me feel better.
SO extroverts, book is a good substitute for people when you wanna take a break.
it distracts you from the fact that you feel like you have nobody when you don't talk to them on twitter and stuffs.
macam tulah.

so i've successfully finished the rosie project thru my sweater season,
i kinda bring it anywhere and read it in between class and whenever i have nothing to do, which is a good point because i don't have to worry if i screw up my relationship with certain people because all i need to do is pick up my book and ignore my environment without feeling hurt or depressed.
and also, reading book is much better because it adds up your knowledge and restrain yourself from talking unnecessary things which you always do when you talk to other people.

so all in all, i can cope trying to be an introvert but i still keep my relationship with people running on, just that i reduced the numbers and i try to improve my relationships more on reality rather than social media because i believe that people in reality are more real and important.
i have fun, having smaller groups to care and connect to,
and also have more things to think and ponder since i read books (YAY!)
so all in all it was okay and i view this as a changing season,
like before a climate change,
you kind of need to sort things out and it'll get better.
i believe it is the right thing to do at the moment because i can see some improvement on my emotions and feelings and also when it becomes better, i am at a rational state to value and weigh things, finding motivations and priorities to keep my life goes on.
i also slowly fix my relationship with people because when we let things be the way they are,
it will slowly rotate and find an equilibrium state. *physics phew*

now i'm currently reading the last song, but still going on slowly because i'm too hype up because i have 4 days for holidays and have been hibernating ever since heheh,
so good luck in whatever you do in life, what ever you're looking for, i hope you will find it.

xoxo, munierahkay ;)

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