Saturday, June 15, 2013

how i wish that i'm not the adult that i used to hate back then

i used to hate adults when i was a child for not understanding me..
i hated the way adults don't believe whatever i was trying to say simply because i'm a lil kid..
i hated them for not able to give me a legit reason for doing so..

that was me. back then..

but now, i am a grown up..
i am an adult to children..
surprisingly, i can't become an adult that i dreamed to be when i was a child..
i can't give legit reasons to children when they don't understand my decisions..
all i think is that, they are children and they won't understand how i've made the right choice..
but that's not important cuz i know better than them..

but the thing is,
sometimes, i feel bad for being an adult that i hated so much when i was a child..
although i understand them now, why they did that but still...
i am just the same person like them back then..
and it hurts to hate them back then and wish for something better yet i didn't change anything when i am actually in the position to change it..

i thought for a while..
about how actually i wanted adults to treat me back then..
but i can't remember that much because i'm not a child anymore..
i don't understand how they feel that something soo small as important,
i can't be them now because i've grown up and the way i see things is different from back then..

i wish when i was a child,
i have a notebook to write all my unsatisfied feelings toward adults so when i am an adult i would understand kids better..
and i can become a better adult...

so maybe.. it's too late for now to grab a time machine and become a kid again..
but maybe what i can do now is to try my best to understand the kids and explain to them how i feel bad being an adult that i hated before.. and ask them to write a diary about their thoughts on life and adults so that when they grow up, they won't repeat the same mistakes like me and become a better adult :)

p/s: i'll write the conclusion later :D

i used to be like them before

including kids :)

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