Monday, June 24, 2013

The worst of the worst

Salam guys..
so recently there are lots of things happening..
If you keep yourself updated, then you will know about the current issues

It hasn't been a fine time for me..
I don't know..
Part of me believe that it was okay but the other part keeps pushing me to feel afraid so that i can get out from my comfort zone..
Certain times, i feel suck..
But alhamdulillah.. i gained strength from my buddies..
They are such an inspiration to me..
I dunno how they can stand being friend with someone who sucks a lot like me,
but what i can tell is that i'm just lucky to have them as companies along this journey..
And secondly, i kinda feel good when i tried to inspire people..
although i'm not really an angel who lives a fine life by living it properly..
but, giving hopes to people is like giving hopes to myself..
and it feels good :)

Another good thing is that, mom's back!
after going to somewhere for 2 weeks,
finally she's home and having her around is such a bless..
she's like the core of the family..
i feel really really grateful cuz i kinda suck at being another mom for a while LOL..
it's stressful, really ><"

okay.. so what am i suppose to talk about,
one day i was picked for PLBS with the pentaksir..
and i sucked hahah.. i didn't know about it so i was not actually prepared for it..
i mean materials and stuff..
and i don't think if i know about it earlier i would prepare for it cuz like hahah
you know me well.. always a last minute person xD

so, i talked about syria cuz i remembered what fakhry shared with us from our last training and..
BOOM, i can't conclude,
i can tell the stories and hey, i can't conclude..
and i stuttered a lot..
but lets just let bygones be bygones..

and last friday i promised my adik2x usrah to meet them before class at the canteen..
i've prepared a few things to share with them..
but suddenly there was a spotcheck.. and the prefect in my class didn't allow me to get out from my class..
and i thought they can't get out from their class too..
however, they did..
and waited for me.. and i wasn't there..
at last, they recite Qur'an on their own and went to their class afterwards..
and i feel bad until now..

and that afternoon my former akak naqibah came!
but i wasn't in a good mood thinking about my adik usrah..
and she was with the form 6 students and i was not feeling comfortable talking to her
so it's kinda awkward.. she seemed excited but i just like hey and uh oh, can i go now?
and that makes me feel bad too..

hahah negativity overload here..

then i read about malaysian students who involved in accidents in Jordan realising how unfortunate they are compared to me..
watched people in turkey vandalized public properties and stores.. and how turkey seems really chaotic right now..

i realised that,
i only faced small small problems..
and life feels like it's going to end right now..
but them, out there, struggling and getting hurt each time yet still enthusiastic to fight for their life..

and right now, i'm not really a happy person,
but i started to look at the world from the third person view..
if you know what i mean

p/s: told yaa, i sucked at concluding :P


  1. you are what you think ; be strong and keep on going! there are lots more chances for you to improve, dont be down because of little things. pray to Allah :)